WASHINGTON, DC – On Sunday night, a White House adviser urged the blogging community to “grow up, and take off their pajamas.”
Progressive bloggers were outraged and took to the streets with laptops and Mountain Dew in hand. Streets around the White House were filled with furious citizens who didn’t say much and kept mostly to themselves. In the streets the only sound was hundreds of people typing angrily. The record setting blog posts per minute (bppm) crashed local servers and nearly broke the internet.
The most heated exchange came when a coffee truck showed up and a riot nearly broke out. Once the protesters got their caffeine fix everyone went back to their laptops and violence was avoided.
Dozens of protesters came in their pajamas. Whether this was entirely an act of solidarity or if some of them simply forgot to put on pants is unclear. One man in footie pajamas, who would only speak to reporters through text messages, said “The Obama Administration’s backtracking on LGBT issues = Epic Fail.”
Washington riot police arrived on the scene to break up the protest. “Yeah this was pretty easy.” said Police Sergeant Henry Bodkins. “We didn’t need hoses, or clubs, or tear gas. This is the first time I’ve been able to break up a crowd by saying ‘Shoo!’ Or just by walking up to them. These people are crazy about personal space.” The protest was quickly and easily dispersed. No injuries were reported received from police, but several injuries were incurred by bloggers trying to run away. Several suffered mild sprains and bruises from tripping over things while running, hundreds experienced asthma attacks, and five men suffered mild heart attacks. All were taken to hospitals by police and all have described their experiences in vivid detail online.
There is no word yet if the protest will urge the Obama administration to rethink any of their policies.
