WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama is planning to hypnotize children across the country with his webcast!

President Obama is set to deliver a live webcast to every school in the country next Tuesday, under the premise of encouraging children to do well in the coming school year.  Weekly World News has discovered that the President is planning to hypnotize the children of America to indoctrinate them wtih a liberal agenda.
Anonymous sources from within the White House confirm that new technology is being used to brainwash anyone who watches Obama’s webcast to become “Agents of Change.”  At the beginning of the speech the President will broadcast theta-waves over the internet connection, slowly lulling viewers into a highly suggestible hypnotic trance.  Once this state is achieved, heightened rhetoric and visual subliminal messages will be used to indoctrinate the Children of America.
“It’s really simple actually,” said the anonymous source.  “Get all the children and teachers behind your cause, so the next generation is primed to do your bidding.  Then it’s a simple step to remove the Constitution, put yourself in a position of irrevocable power, and turn the country into a European-style Muslim Socialist state.”
While Obama is telling children to “focus on goals” subliminal messages will be telling children what their goals are: socialized health care and gay marriage.  When Obama asks children to “visualize” their goals and create “collages” the subliminal messages will actually be telling them to watch their parents and report any non-liberal activity directly to the government.
Several schools and school districts are opposed to the mandatory webcast, and are choosing to not air it.  Teachers and officials are critical of it fear their names are being put on a list for later government reprisal.  No intimidation or strange disappearances have yet been reported.

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  1. I understand students whose parents wish to opt out will be given an alternative constructive learning exercise
    The stuents will be asked to cover their ears while they cry out loudly "Naaahaanaanan…I caaan't heaar you!!! Naahanaa haaanssnana!!"

  2. The right (or WHATEVER you are) are turning into the stupidest, frightened, most racist and gullible people on the planet. Hate is all you know and you care nothing of anyone else. Here's an idea: go do some good in the world. World Weekly News is a [sometimes funny] parody! (see: Aliens Abduct Cheerleaders, etc) Like the Onioin. After 8 years of the Bush crime family raping the country you would think that you get the idea, but I guess that's the problem when you don't think. Hypnotize. I laugh at you.

    • Bush Family raped the country??? When Bush left office we had a 500 billion dollar deficit, now after not even one year of your messiah we have a one trillion dollar deficit. Who did the raping??? And it's not over yet. How are you liking all of the hope and change??? I hope America will wake up and change out this loser in the Oval Office before it's to late.

    • The reason America is a trillion dollars in deficit is because Bush was a warmonger who didn't care for the economy. He left it in such a state that it didn't matter who took over as President, it was going down the toilet regardless. It's just unfortunate that Obama took over office at the time that he did, but at least now there's someone in office with more sense that can deal with the problems the country faces.

    • Obama voted for Iraq war funding in the senate with no timetable for withdraw, Obama is expanding the war in Afghanistan. Obama inherited this debt from himself.

  3. As THE Official CIA Disinformation Source, World Weekly News is my first choice of information when seeking the truth. (When True Info is leaked by WWN it is instantly discredited) Thank you for the warning about Obama's hypnotic speech. By the way, the real way he does it is called NLP or Neuro-linguistic programming. It is very real. When are you company men going to live up to your oath and protect the country?

  4. I am the right. (Or whatever I am). I am the stupidest, frightened, most racist and gullible person on the planet. Hate is all I know and I care nothing for anyone else. I have an idea: I will go do some good in the world. Is Weekly World News a parody? Or is this story true? [ I know that aliens abduct cheerleaders, etc) Like the Oooniiiooonioon. After 8 years of that commie Bush letting the world walk all over us, I'm ready for a change, I would think I would get the idea. But I guess its a problem because I can't think. I guffaw back at you.

  5. Reading all these far left and far right wing comments on a comedy website about a article that is made just for fun just illustrates how ignorant and polarized this country is. The far left are fanatics who attack anything and everything they don't agree with and the far right does the same. I can't even read a funny article without this crap and feeling. Just know this. Each party gives us polarizing figures, we elect one and the other party spends the whole time attacking them. It's happened for as long as I have voted. It reached is zenith with Bush and I hoped the constant charge of racism from the left would stop some of it for Obama, but he's getting the same treatment. I just wish we'd get a viable third party or fluke into a moderate president, instead of the radical liberal we have now or the radical conservative we had before. This just sucks.

  6. George, the most amusing (and sad) part of this is that those "far right" people you speak of don't see this as an article just for fun. Like so many of the over-the-top ridiculous things out there, they believe this is all true!!! I worry for the future of our country because of such gullible people…far more than I do because of the current administration.

  7. Everyone needs to stop blaming everyone for whatever! The fact is that we are in this hole together and we ALL AS ONE COUNTRY need to get ourselves out no matter who did what! This is whats wrong with the world we are to busy blaming everyone else for our problems and were not doing anything to get us where we need to be in this country! FOR ONCE WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER UNSTEAD OF GOING AGAINEST EACH OTHER!


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