WASHINGTON, DC – The official copy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate was stolen this week by Republicans wishing to halt his health care reform.

Since before the election there has been a great deal of speculation regarding President Obama’s birth certificate.  A growing movement among conservatives known as “Birthers” believes Barack Obama was actually born in Kenya and wants legislation passed requiring Presidents to provide an official copy of their birth certificate.

Earlier this week a group of conservatives stole the Presidents birth certificate, and are now holding it ransom to stall talks on Health Care reform.  The group stealing the certificate was lead by Florida Representative Bill Posey.  He, along with California Congressman John Campbell, led an elite squad of commandoes in a daring heist at the Honolulu hospital where the document, real or forged, was kept.

Now, with the issue of his legitimacy to be President in the hands of his opponents, Barack Obama is forced to stall on pushing forward his Health Care plan.  Republicans want the reforms watered down to more favor profit generating insurance companies.  Republicans believe that more socialized health care could lead to the unnecessary deaths of thousands of Americans every year.

The White House has refused to comment on the situation.  They won’t comment on the burglary or if the document in Republican hands is genuine.  If it is fake, or a Kenyan certificate, then Obama will have to abdicate the Presidency.  If it is real, he will likely have to suffer through criticisms of his heritage for as long as he is of African descent.

When and how Republicans will play their hand remains to be seen.  Washington insiders believe the document now rests in Dick Cheney’s man sized safe in his castle fortress, next to a jar containing Saddam Hussein’s head and indecent pictures of Margaret Thatcher.

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  1. Calling President Bush…calling President Bush…time to take your old job back until we can have a do over election. Effin' democrats have done it to the country again.

    • If this is all you have to worry about, God bless you. Instead of wasting your time on crap like this why don't you go out and help maybe the homeless (there seems to be alot more since your wonderful Bush was in office), forgotten children. etc. I think I will help more that have been hurt by Bush and his cronies.

    • Both parents must be US citizens in order for the child to be a citizen regardless of where he is born in the world. Obama's father was not! If he is really a US citizen why is he refusing to produce a certified/original birth certificate and put an end to all this???
      Alice in Ohio

    • Alice,
      Last time you wrote in you signed "Lonnie" as your name.
      This is clear evidence that your meds need adjusting you poor soul….

    • Alice, to be President he would need to be a Natural Born American Citizen, simply a citizen will not work. Natural Born is Born of Blood and Soil. The Blood of two (2) American Citizen Parents and birth taking place on American Soil. Miss any of these 3 requirements and you fail the test for Presidential eligibility.

  2. "Help the homeless"? Let's save America and get us a real legal President. Let the homeless help themselves. Tell them to get a job. Tell that to Obama too!

  3. all we have worry about ????? Our country is being run my an illegal allien and a muslim to boot…… all we have to worry about ????? Gheesh you need to get a life and quit believing all the Obama propaganda!!!!!!!!!!!! W A K E U P A M E R I C A

  4. actually as long as your born in the U.S you are considered to be a U.S citizen…and Have any of you lost a birth certificate and had to get a new one??? There is nothing to it.. Osama bin Laden could have gotten a U.S birth certificate. Have any of you actually looked up obamas birth certificate online??? Well there is one for Kenya and one for Hawaii…and I must say the one for Kenya looks a bit more legit. I strongly disagree with our president at this time..and the man who introduced him to christianity said on public television GD America. He believes in no restrictions on abortion as well as believes in gay marriage!!!

  5. ..if I have to show my proof of citizenship to get a drivers' license why can't Barry Soetoro a/k/a Barrack Obama show his?? or show his medical records? or show his education records? what does he have to hide?? the answer is he DOES have something to hide and the fact that he doesn't show all his records is an offense to our Constitution and to those who uphold it and have died to defend it…wake up people… there's an impostor at the helm dismantling our country before our eyes…and no…I"m not a extremist, racist, I could care less if the Prez is purple or green as long as he is a "natural born' American as the Constitution requires.

    • Gloria: If you really wanted the truth about President Obama's birth place, you and all the other dumb bigots out there merely could check out the passport of his mother, to find out where she was at the time of his birth. Case closed. By the way, since you certainly don't consider yourself an extremist, racist, i am sure that you also questioned George Bush's, John McCain, and Ronald Reagan's birth place.

  6. Why is Dunham/Soetoro/Obama allowed to use taxpayer money to keep from showing his Birth Certificate? It is quite interesting that the Lawyers even threatens to ruin people if they do not drop the lawsuit. This is all first class bull. If he were white, he would have had to show the long form bc after the first request. I was afraid this would happen, and lo and behold, racism has been revived by the Jesse jackson's and Al Sharpton's of the world! The ones that do not and will not help poor blacks except to create wealth for themselves. THE REAL PROBLEM FOR POOR BLACKS ARE THE BLACKS WHO PRETEND TO HELP, BUT KNOW THAT IF THEY DO HELP TOO MUCH, THEY WILL NOT BE NEEDED!!!
    BO helps no one except his family and the Chicago gang in the White House. Legal? I don't think so, unliess his name is Emily or Susie Jane.

  7. Why is the FBI and CIA not involved ? It is hard to believe that this is actually happenning in the USA to the highest office/Commander in Chief. Is there any common sense left in the USA. Our regulatory agencies have failed us again, as they have for the past 50 years. It is time to replace all the rats in Congress.

  8. The need for much more pc experts again gives rise to the increased require for more and more computer training institutes. Proper computer coaching from a reputed institute is the ladder through which IT aspirants can shape their profession within the related sector.

  9. Thanks for that. We're having a little potluck party this month, for Xmas I guess and I've been trying to find something unique.. found some awesome ideas at this potluck recipe site. You know, someone should invent a website where you can write what you'll be taking, and it would check no one is bringing the same thing!

  10. Actually, NEITHER parent needs to be a citizen. Obama just had to be born on US soil. Under our legal system, YOU must present evidence that our president was NOT born here. He doesn't have to prove anything.


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