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BRAIN-EATING AMOEBA ATTACK!


ORANGE BEACH, AL – Brain-eating amoeba have been found in the Alabama water supply and communities in Mississippi.
Several  lifeguards succumbed to a bug known as the “brain-eating amoeba,” according to reports.   There have been over thirty-five deaths this month in Alabama and Mississippi alone.  With more reports coming out of the Florida panhandle.
The lifeguards died from meningitis.  Naegleria fowleri — or “brain-eating amoeba” as it is sometimes known — was originally suspected as the cause.

Several teenagers who were nearby thought zombies were responsible for the bug –  NOT the amoeba.
“I think I saw a few ole zombies in the water and maybe they had amoebas in their mouth or in their butts.  But the lifeguards were bitten by zombies, that’s why they died.  For sure.  I knows it,” said Tyler Biggs of Selma.

Zombies have long been suspected of being carriers of brain-eating amoeba.  “Yes, of course, they can eat the brain directly, but they also like to use amoeba for a more subtle way of attacking victims,” said Zombologist, Dr. John Blanton.   “Like all of us, zombies get bored and want to kill in new and unique ways.”
Some say that Michele Bachmann contracted the amoeba after being bitten by a zombie (reportedly her husband) last week when she was in Florida campaigning.
Health department officials told WWN that these were isolated incidents, but WWN has confirmed that though the amoeba may be contained, the zombies are not.
“We gots a zombie epidemic down here,” said Jeb Stuart of Orange Beach.  “Zombies are everywhere.  I got my gun ready.”
Mr. Stuart’s brain was eaten by a zombie before WWN could follow-up with him.

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21 thoughts on “BRAIN-EATING AMOEBA ATTACK!”

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  2. Thr Greater League of Official Monsters(GLoOM) has declared that biologically created zombies are to be called xombies.

    Reply
    • In related news, the Maenad Project, lead by Dr. Uraeus Miska, is researchinr a means to deal with the Xombie menace.

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