TIM TEBOW CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

DENVER – Sources say Denver Broncos quarterback, Tim Tebow, decided to convert to Judaism.


Thursday night, Tim Tebow sported his new haircut and yarmulke around the Denver Broncos Invesco Field at Mile High stadium.  There’s an internet sensation about Tebow’s haircut because some thought Tebow’s team mates had cut his hair as part of a hazing ritual, but Tebow spoke to reporters last night and said, “I gave myself this haircut.  I’ve decided to convert to Judaism and my new yarmulke fits better on a bald spot. It was hard to keep on with my hair.”
Taylor Mays, a safety for the Cincinnati Bengals, who is also Jewish, flew to Denver to offer his assistance in Tebow’s conversion. Several prominent Jewish celebrities also flew in to meet with Tebow:  Natalie Portman, Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes, Evan Rachel Wood, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Scarlett Johansson.  Will Ferrell flew in just… to be there.  Here is Tebow bowing before Scarlett Johansson:

The decision has shocked many of Tebow’s fans and many Christians. Tim Tebow, a Heisman trophy winner,  has been a devout Christian his whole life.  Earlier this year, Tebow was told to “shut the f–k up” by fellow NFL recruits after making a request for prayer before taking the Wonderlic standardized test.  He has now angered some of his Denver Bronco teammates by reading the Torah aloud in the locker room.  Tebow, a brilliant and passionate student of Judaism, can already read and speak Hebrew.
Some fans, who just bought a popular new Tebow shirt, were’ not happy:

Tebow has also been blasting the traditional Jewish song, Hava Nagila, in the locker room.  But instead of being annoyed by this, the Broncos have grown to love the song and often dance in circles before practice.  Tebow keeps asking them to put him in a chair and hoist him in the air but… he’s a rookie.  Maybe next year.
When leaving the practice field today, Tebow was asked to comment on his decision, but he simply said, “Shalom.”
ESPN’s Mel Kiper, also Jewish,  has been critical of Tebow in the past, but now thinks that Tebow will be the greatest quarterback to ever walk the earth.
Tim Tebow is busy trying to pick a Jewish name. He’s leaning toward, Kfir Tuvia Malachi.
A public ceremony announcing Tebow’s final conversion will be held at Invesco Field in March.  The event is already sold out.

24 thoughts on “TIM TEBOW CONVERTS TO JUDAISM”

  1. At that the moment, I think the guy is just a media addict. He'll do or say anything to get his name in the paper, sell a few more jerseys, and get an interview with TMZ. So unless this thing ends with an April Fools, Brett Favre, Jr can enjoy riding the pine in Denver.

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  3. Zac Efron's paternal grandfather was Jewish. His other grandparents were not Jewish.
    Zac looks somewhat like Logan Lerman, who is 100% Jewish.

  4. Plans for the big March show include Tebow beeing circumsized in public without any general
    or local anesthesia. Gay rights activists are vowing to hold protests and crash the whole show.

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