MACABRE MANITOBA BEAVERS TURN GRAVE ROBBERS
A tip from Canadian buckwheat farmer Bertie Gourdeau led Weekly World News to a grisly discovery. It is at the edge of his sprawling property: a 200-meter-long beaver dam made entirely from human bones.
Countless skulls, femurs, ribs, limbs with grasping hands still intact, and even artificial hips were expertly woven into a calcium fortress. It is reminiscent of a death metal album cover.
The dam reduced what was once a surging spring-fed stream to a mere trickle, choking off the water supply to Bertie’s crops and those of neighboring farms.
“Bout a week ago I noticed my buckwheat not doin’ so hot, wilting you know,” Bertie explained.
“They weren’t getting enough water. So I took a trek up the dry stream bed and almost fell over when I smelled it. Whole situation’s a damn shame if ya ask me.”
Several of the unusually large and furry culprits could be seen on the other side of the structure, whistling and slapping their tails against the stream’s surface. A flash of their gouging orange teeth told Gourdeau to keep a respectful distance.
WHERE DID THESE BONES COME FROM?
Weekly World News investigators found rural graveyards in the surrounding area that had been heavily tampered with.
With no exception, every gravesite was messily excavated by small animal paws. Heavy coffins were left undisturbed, but wooden caskets bore the tell-tale marks of shearing beaver teeth. Broken caskets were strewn around like discarded cashew shells.
ISN’T CANADA A GIANT BOREAL FOREST? WHAT GIVES?
Canada’s deforestation is minor compared to much of the world. But certain areas under heavy commercial and agricultural development have been cleared at an increasing rate over the past decade.
Habitat destruction is particularly hard on beavers, as they need ample woodland for both food and shelter, according to noted beaver scholar Dr. Thaddeus Buck.
Corresponding with Weekly World News via satellite link from Siberia, Dr. Buck explained further: “Castor canadensis, the North American beaver is quite resilient and adaptable. They’ve managed to overcome ruthless hunting for the fur trade, clearing of their native woodlands, chemical runoff from industrial factories, and more.”
“This report from Canada is the first of its kind, however. If a beaver’s environment becomes uninhabitable, it’ll usually seek out a new home upstream. But these beavers seem to be standing their ground.”
When asked how the beavers may be coping with a complete lack of their traditional food supply, Dr. Buck offered, “A beaver’s teeth, like those of all rodents, grow constantly and must be worn down through chewing, lest they continue to grow into the animal’s skull.”
“They eat the outer bark and soft inner wood of the trees they fell, digesting tough plant xylem in a way no other mammal can. To increase the nutrient yield of this process, beavers also engage in coprophagy, or consuming their own poop.”
“If they’re willing to do that, I don’t see why they wouldn’t crack open a femur. That would allow them to consume the rich marrow inside.”
A CHILLING DISCOVERY CHANGES EVERYTHING
As the Weekly World News crew packed up to leave Bertie Gordeau’s farmland, we received a frantic call from a local park ranger.
Half a kilometer upstream we met ranger Kathleen Neal, who showed us what appeared to be a moose skin rug bunched up among the wet rocks. Only after she flipped it over, did the true horror of the situation reveal itself.
The carcass had been fileted and deboned like a fish, with almost surgical precision. Short stubs showed where the antlers had been gnawed away. Though still intact the moose’s hooves were scored with deep grooves. A few feet away, a slick pile of half-rotted organs lay otherwise undisturbed.
Weekly World News will keep our readers informed as the situation continues to develop.
Looks scary. Finally, can anyone confirm if this is a human skull or an animal skull. Is it possible to be certain that the soil, forests and water in this area are not contaminated?
it’s so creepy. How about local people or the environment around this dam
Local people were at each other’s throats I hate to say, it seemed like a desperate situation. The ground was parched for miles around. As word has spread they’re starting to get more people coming out to try to take pictures. It’s only a matter of time before there’s contact between the human and animal parties, and I doubt it’ll be pretty.