YOU CAN SUNBATHE AT 20 DEGREES BELOW ZERO!
Swedish scientists have developed an astonishing new pill that renders the human body immune to cold weather, a leading Swiss chemist reports.
In a letter to the journal Biology, Dr. Thurleman A. Erben said the Swedes developed the drug to help their armies fight more efficiently in sub-zero weather. Sweden is ready in case another country decides to attack. It is an unlikely to happen, but if their forces can withstand subzero temperatures, it’ll definitely be an advantage.
It is so incredibly effective, he added, that a bikini-clad woman could take one of the pills and sunbathe in the Arctic or Antarctica in total comfort. The primary use of the pill is expected to be for the military.
“Make no mistake about it — this drug is a military weapon of the first order,” Dr. Erben, who learned of the pill from German sources, and in his letter to the journal.
Swedish workers can now wear summer uniforms in fridge weather and therefore work more efficiently.
“The drug will also reduce fuel and supply-demand because families won’t need heathers or extra food and clothes to protect them from the cold. There are innumerable uses for the drug as well.”
THE SWEDES AREN’T GIVING AWAY THE SECRET SAUCE
The drug formula remains a guarded secret, said Dr. Erben. But it apparently works by desensitizing the nerves that tell the brain the body is cold.
“And it almost certainly alters the body’s cells in some way to protect them from cold damage,” continued the expert. “That’s the key to its effectiveness.”
According to Dr. Erben’s source, the pill must be taken daily. This will allow it to provide optimum protection from the cold.
The only side effect mentioned is that the drug makes people extremely sensitive to sunlight.
“With the use of ordinary sunscreen, one can easily overcome this problem.” Dr. Erben said.
“The development of this pill represents an amazing breakthrough,” he added. ‘It’s quite an achievement that the Swedes did it first.”
Wow. Cool. Literally!
Maybe the secret sauce is CHEMICAL X from Professor Utonium. The creator of the powerrpuff girls.
Maybe the secret sauce is CHEMICAL X from Professor Utonium. You know, the creator and proud father of the powerrpuff girls.