Finding qualified, stable employees has been a challenge for companies across the US over the last decade. HR mangers attend conventions and seminars on the latest recruiting philosophies and controversial retainment methods. Everything from lenient drug policies to snow cone days in the summer months have been deployed across the country.
Something new and promising is developing that is actually a look back at the past. Hiring deceased employees that were all-stars in their respective departments.
What better way to bolster your company than to hire someone that already has decades of experience in the exact position that you are trying to fill.
“There are a few hurdles that we need to overcome.” says the HR Department Manager for Dino’s Furniture Hut, Hannah Lumberton. ” It isn’t really the resurrection that is the problem. We have that part perfected. Trade secret of course. (Wink, wink.) The real problem is putting together an attractive employment package to lure then away from the afterlife. If they are in the good place they are reluctant to leave. If they are in the bad place they aren’t usually what we are looking for. Attendance problems, insubordination, etc.”
WWN contacted Martha Breek, a local medium, to discuss The new trend in employment.
“These corporations always want to contact specific employees. Making contact with the other side isn’t like dialing a phone number. You can only contact the spirits that are near.” Breek continues, “That’s not to say I haven’t been successful at contacting specific past employees that they have been looking for! I got skills after all! I do find that most of the interviews take on much the same tone. Dead people usually don’t want to get back to the drudgery of working a 9 to 5 again. It’s only those crazy people that worked themselves to death for the company in the first place that ever say yes. The promise of a free snow cone in the summer usually seals the deal.”
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Many universities were shocked to discover that many of their faculty were already dead but still on the payroll! Many of the deceased professors had apparently died right after they were awarded tenure.