LUST IN SPACE

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – Forget the scandal about love-struck astronauts on earth. Rumors of improper fraternization in space originally brought sharp denials from NASA.

But after Weekly World News pressed NASA, they finally admitted that the couple did hook-up.

“It’s true that a male and female astronaut had relations on the International Space Station,” acknowledged NASA spokesperson Lisa Grievansi. “However, NASA’s mission control center approved the astro-fornication prior to it happening. Both Russia and the United States signed off on it. The act was carefully monitored. All systems were go and they went.”

Russian Cosmonaut Raisa Bulgarova

Russian cosmonaut Raisa Bulgarova and American Flight Engineer Randy Philips fell in love during a dramatic spacewalk. The two could not wait to get back inside and spend time with their spacesuits off. And they are eager to get back to earth.

American Astronaut, Randy Philips

NASA and the Russian Space Authority lost contact with the couple on their spacewalk, but many scientists believe they had sex while on their spacewalk as well.

We asked NASA spokesman, Gigi Bataclara, how the astronauts could possibly have sex with each other while in their spacesuits.

“These are talented individuals that have gone through years of training. If they can repair a damaged fuselage while floating in space, they certainly can figure out how to have sex. We are confident in their abilities.”

OUT OF THIS WORLD

Other astronauts on the International Space Station watched the two from a small window on the spaceship. They said they saw Archangel Michael hovering about the couple while they were having sex in space.

Archangel Michael blessing the union of the two astronauts

There have been some problems on the ISS since the astronauts first hooked-up.

“They can’t keep their hands off each other, and are always sneaking off to different corners of the space station for their lovemaking sessions,” said Commander Misha Brazvov. “Raisa and Randy love to do it while floating above the game room. They have become quite annoying. It’s hard to concentrate with those two around.”

The couple originally said they were planning on getting married upon returning to Earth in May, 2020. But in a shocking announcement, it was revealed that Raisa is already married. A fact she never revealed to Russian space authorities.

Randy isn’t too happy about that, especially since he was planning a honeymoon on… the moon!

The atmosphere of the International Space Station has become much colder since this news.

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