WASHINGTON, DC – Angry demonstrators were arrested for storming Nancy Pelosi’s office. Citizens used liberal Halloween disguises to get by security.
Yesterday roughly a dozen people were arrested for causing a disturbance in and just outside of Nancy Pelosi’s office. The protestors are believed to have gotten by the tough security using a series of clever disguises. Some protesters dressed as cliche hippies and liberals. They walked directly by security saying taglines like, “Golly, I sure do like big government” or “Unregulated government spending is awesome!”
One gentleman wore a suit of armor, and stood still against a wall whenever anyone came near. He worked in tandem with another protester dressed as a potted plant. Three men dressed as chimney sweeps, and were casually let through, despite there being no chimneys in the building. One man did research to find out what the wallpaper in the building looked like, then painted his entire body to match it. He could still be seen easily from any angle that wasn’t staring directly at a wall, but no one wanted to get too close to the chubby naked man covered in body paint.
Once inside the office, the ringleader of the operation decried, “Let the wild demonstration, begin!” Immediately the protesters began running around making a general mess of things, tossing shredded copies of the Health Care Bill. Some of the protesters waited in the hallway outside, giving whomever walked by a wedding like reception with shredded health care pages. Soon security was on hand to break up the festivities.
Thankfully the protest was held at Pelosi’s office in the Cannon House Office Building, and not at her office in Capitol Hill. Building security calmly removed the protesters and handed them over to police, where they were charged with disorderly conduct. A similar demonstration in the Capital Building would qualify as a terrorist act, raising the alert level to orange and elevating our current Defcon level. Building Security were reluctant to get too close to the naked wallpaper man, and he disappeared.
If you live in the D.C. metro area and have seen a chubby naked man covered in body paint, please call the authorities immediately.