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FARMERS’ ALMANAC PREDICTS COMING ICE AGE

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The Farmers’ Almanac is predicting a new Ice Age to begin in January, 2014.

Using phrases like “armageddon cold,” “frozen Americas” and “Earth locked in ice” to describe the upcoming Ice Age beginning in 2014.  And if its predictions are right, the first outdoor Super Bowl in January 2014 will be a messy “Ice Bowl.”

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The 197-year-old-publication hits newsstands Monday predicts the Ice Age will hit the Northeast first and then cover the midwest and by spring – California.  “Los Angeles will see average temperatures of 25-30 degrees Fahrenheit,” said a Farmer’s Almanac insider.

“We’re using a very strong three-letter word to describe the Earth in the coming years, I-C-E. It’s going to be one big ball of spinning ice,” said Heidi Hamilton of Farmers’ Almanac.

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Based on planetary positions, sunspots and lunar cycles, the almanac’s secret formula is largely unchanged since founder David Young published the first almanac in 1818.

The Maine-based Farmers’ Almanac, not to be confused with the New Hampshire-based Old Farmer’s Almanac, which will be published next month, features a mix of corny jokes, gardening tips, nostalgia and home remedies, like feeding carrots to dogs to help with bad breath and using mashed bananas to soothe dry, cracked skin in the winter.

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What can you do to prepare for the coming Ice Age?

“Stock up on blankets and put on about 50-60 pounds,” says the Almanac.  “Other than that, you’ll have to ride it out for 50-60 years, when the warming trend returns.”