YUCATAN – Mayan scholars have updated their doomsday prophecy. The world will end in 2015, not 2012.Oops…. They made a mistake. There’s good news for those who were fearing the 2012 Mayan apocalypse. They counted wrong. The world is not going to end in December 2012. Instead, it’s going to end on September 3, 2015. Update your daily planners!
A new critique, published as a chapter in the new textbook “Calendars and Years: Astronomy and Time in the Ancient and Medieval World” argues that the accepted conversions of dates from Mayan to the modern calendar are off. This coupled with a new book, “We Are All Going To Die In 2015″ by Fritz Barnkopf are rewriting the Mayan doomsday playbook that has been popularized in our culture over the last ten years.
The problem was discovered when researchers realized the Mayan calendar was converted to today’s Gregorian calendar using an erroneous calculation called the GMT constant, named for the last initials of three early Mayanist researchers.
But the GMT constant is completely bogus. “The Mayan researchers of the past twenty years put too much stock in the GMT,” said Mayan expert Robert Wannamaker. “They probably were chewing on too many cocoa leaves. The fact is that the GMT constant is 2 years and 271 days off. We’ve proven that conclusively hear at The Scripps Institute.”
The apocalypse is now delayed. This is a stunning blow to all the merchandisers that were seeking to capitalize on the “end-of-world” prophecy BEFORE the world ends. “Man, I was selling all sorts of 2012 doomsday paraphernalia. Now, I gotta go back and make it all again for 2015. It’s a real drag,” said 2012 fanatic, Judd Barkley.
Hollywood is jumping right on the 2015 bandwagon. Producers are lining up to make the 2012 sequel, 2015. “It’s great for us,” said Producer Tracey Barnham. “I hope that they extended it again in a few years, so we can keep this franchise going.”
Not likely. Mayan researchers are unanimous on the end-of-world data. The world will disappear in 2015. You might want to plan accordingly.
Bad news: we’re all going to die. Good news: We got three more years! Woo-hoo!!!
THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE I'VE EVER READ
if Hollywood is planning on making 2015, then please make it better than 2012. the acting in that movie was terrible, but the special effects was awesome, just like independence day.
What a coincidence, it was made by the same person.
Those who worship God are committing one of their own sins: worshiping a false idol. It's not a matter of opinion, it's a matter of fact. Yes, you have the right to believe in Fairy Tales, but no, no one has to respect that belief.
you know what,**** you stupid mayan ppl to predict the end of the world
The Mayans never believed the world was going to end. Other people just used their calendar as an excuse to spread their own bullshit.
did you really just say fuck the mayans?
did you really just call that ancient race stupid?
get off the internet, your autism is showing.
I agree with everything you said.
Except that you just offended a lot of autistic people.
Good job, that makes all the autistic people feel SO GREAT.
Ok, now you're just being sore losers. Just admit you're wrong about the whole Mayan thing. By the way, Happy Mayan Day!
The people that actually believe that the world and everything in it will just end in some apocalyptic manner are complete autists. No… that's an insult to actual autists.
The world won't just stop like that. That includes you, Christians. Earth will exist long after us humans wipe ourselves out from it.
Oh god come on guys, doomsday prophecies? Really? Again? Can't you just for once say "Oh, hey, we were wrong! There never will be a doomsday! Yay, our future will be much happier!". Can't you lot just stop being the harbingers of doom and gloom and make a prophecy where the cure to cancer, aids, and all other medical advances help to heal everyone and make THAT one actually happen?
Is there no end in sight??? (No pun intended)
Someone please write that the calendar is just incomplete and that the counting NEVER ends? No, man, they are desperate for the world to end, so much that they forgot the mayans doesn't take leap years in consideration and that their culture has disappeared. A few "heirs" remains, and that's it!
SHUT UP! The world will NEVER end! This is the stupidest news I have ever heard, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
I just want to say, you are wrong. The world will end, but that will be when the resources are dried out and when the sun finally dies out. However, that's Billions of years from now. We won't experience the end of the world, fortunately. I'm just surprised many people still believe the world will just suddenly die in over the course of ONE day, it's preposterous. The world is dying, but like many of us, dying slowly, by aging.
Y-e-a, Y-e-a, Joshua, I fully SUPPORT what U say, I say " WHAT A LOAD OF F…KING BULLSHIT TO ALL u queer WANKERS THAT would believe every bloody thing U hear or see " your fucked up lives will end before the WORLD WILL ….thats for sure ….so I say again JOSHUA, TO ALL THESE "QUEER-PRICKS" GO AND JUMP OVER THE NEAREST CLIFF, AND DO THE REST OF US A B–I—G FAVOUR …….
Just… STOP this nonsense already! We're busting more and more theories.
Hell, we busted the 1 billion views for Gangnam Style, theory. Yes, that video reached that many views less than half an hour ago. We are still around. JUST. STOP. FOR SUWAKO'S SAKE!
Heh, Suwako….
Kero!
Fuck you idiots who write about dooms day, how about you predict when someone will stuff a load of shit up your throat instead? If the world ends, it will and we will embrace it.. but stop making false predictions you motherfuckers
Stupidity at it’s best.It will be a doomsday for mayans this 2015. Say your prayers bitch!
Oh my god are you FUCKING kidding me.
DID IT CALL IN ON A RAIN CHECK
DID IT FORGET ITS LUGGAGE AT THE AIRPORT
lets leave the jokes on the website they came from thanks
You guys are pussies, admit defeat and stop making excuses
I pity you people, you are lost with your little childish and immature beliefs never really appreciated life or ever to have lived in this beatuiful awesome world.. such bullshit and stupidity, only god knows the end nobpdy else. if you dont ever believe, ask yourself. Why are you here?
I know why I am here, but Swoosh, ask yourself:
Why are you still alive?
So was it The Doctor, Buffy, or The Winchesters who saved us this time around?
i played the song of time.
It was Goku.
Ok I think I speak for just about everyone on this planet when I say WE DON'T KNOW WHEN THE WORLD WILL END. obviously I think we should have stopped with this world ending nonsense when the 2000 millenium bug world ending didn't happen, the 2000 planetary alignment world ending didn't happen, 06/06/06 devil/ anti christ world ending didn't happen, rapture beginning, rapture ending, and now 2012 world ending. DIDN'T HAPPEN. and odds are, this whole 2015 deal won't happen as well. I think you doomsday predictors are trying to keep the world scared, for what reason? I have no idea. How about this? You think the world is going to end a certain day, cool. don't let us know. I'd rather die a sudden death than knowing for 2 years when the day will come. Keep your idiotic predictions to yourselves.
The Bible says that we will not know when the world will end. So stop trying. Or at least stop letting the world know about your dumb predictions that never come true. Waste of time and worrying.
These Mayan "scholars" are idiots, and so is anybody that still takes them seriously.
The end of the Mayan calendar is not to signify the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new Mayan year (or cycle, whatever the term for it was) it's a cause for celebration, not fear.
This… Is.. fucking… idiotic! WHO THE FUCK WOULD PREDICT "THE END OF THE WORLD" IT WONT FUCKING END UNTIL THE FUCKING SUN EXPLODES. SO STOP FUCKING PREDICTING UNLESS ITS GOING TO HAPPEN! IM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT, I GOT NIGHTMARES WEEKLY DUE TO THIS CRAP, AND NOW, IT DIDNT END! THESE "MAYAINS" REALLY NEED TO JUST GIVE UP. Now my rage is gone…
fuck that's my birthday
This is a really stupid article no body knows when the world will end only god knows.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I had to deal with people from years about "The end of the world!" You know alot of people are to scared to leave there homes! and possibly young people had so much sex! it sickens me! this is bull shit! NO ONE KNOWS WHEN THE WORLD ENDS! you guys are a bunch of ideots changing th date fuck you all!!
stfu . this is getting ridiculous .