LOS ANGELES, CA – A Three Stooges movie is in the works, set to star Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Penn. Ghosts of the original Stooges are in an uproar.
Based in the increasing popularity of film remakes, Hollywood is seeking to update another cherished gem: the Three Stooges. Sean Penn, after winning an Academy award for the drama Milk, became the studio’s first choice to play Larry. Fellow Oscar winner Benecio Del Toro (Traffic, The Usual Suspects) will play Moe, with Jim Carrey (23, The Majestic) as Curly.
The ghosts of the Three Stooges, have come forward to voice their dissatisfaction with the issue.
The Stooges have haunted Universal lot 34 since their accidental death in 1948. They died in a freak explosion while filming “The Three Stooges Meet Hamlet.” Their last words, caught on film and hidden in the Universal archives, were “Hey Moe, what’s this do?”
Spectral images of Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard started appearing around the various Hollywood lots, for a moment figuring out where they were then berating each other for getting the directions wrong. Finally this weekend the trio appeared in a meeting of the studio heads responsible for the upcoming Stooges picture. An inside source says that after some initial panic Curly, said the following:
“Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse our interruption. While we appreciate that our movies are still well known and that you want to use our characters. However, we feel that the current trend of remakes is an act of creative laziness that will only alienate you from you audiences in the long run. It is with the utmost respect that we ask you to please let our films be. We would prefer to not have our legacy infringed by this endeavor.”
Then Moe’s ghost punched him and said, “I told you we should have worn sheets!”
As Stooges continued to fight the studio execs sat staring until one finally stood up, saying, “Yeah, but the wheels are already in motion with this, and we really think the Farrelly brothers will bring a lot of class to the franchise.”
The three stooges merely sighed and disappeared back to the spiritual plane. But not before Moe called the assembled group a bunch of “knuckleheads.”
The assembled group continued their meeting, greenlighting a remake of Citizen Kane starring Tom Hanks and directed by Christopher Columbus.