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KATE GOSSELIN’S HAIR EXTENSIONS


NEW YORK, NY – Kate Gosselin has a new look, and new hair!  The reality star mom says she was protecting the environment by cultivating her extensions from her own children’s hair.

Icon of child exploitation Kate Gosselin debuted her new look this week.  Getting rid of her trademark short and spiky hair Gosselin now sports long chemically treated locks thanks to the miracle of extensions.  Kate Gosselin herself is happy to do whatever it takes to be at the center of attention.

The process of attaching hundreds of individual extensions took 20 hours.  One of Gosselin’s children wandered off during the process, but she’s not sure which one.  The child has yet to be found, but authorities agree they are in a better place now.  Celebrity hairstylist Ted Gibson, who performed the procedure, is reported to have vomited out his eyes then passed out shortly after finishing.

Responding to the new hairstyle fellow ‘famous for nothing’ television star Kourtney Kardashian said “She looks Great!  She’s a total Milf now!”  The International Sisterhood of Milfs is expected to bestow her with a medal by the end of the month.  Kate’s ex-husband Jon Gosselin could not be reached for comment, as he was attempting to pawn his children’s toys for beer money.

Kate Gosselin is expected to do a media tour to advertise her new hair and a possible comeback.  No plans have been made to watch the children while Kate is away.  When asked for comment about their mommy’s hair the Gosselin children told reporters “Take Us With You!  Please!”