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DOG MAYOR FACES POUND FOR CORRUPTION CHARGES

Feds have been tailing the official for months.

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DOG WITH HUMAN HANDS COMPOSES MAGNUM OPUS

EISENBERG, Germany — Not much is known about Woofgang, the prized, pianist pooch of Eisenberg. Some have called the dog a “genius” and given him monikers like “Johann Sebastian Bark.” Others have labeled his story a hoax, and they say that the supposed canine with human hands is not only a scientific impossibility, but an affront to the musical community.

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