DOG WITH HUMAN HANDS COMPOSES MAGNUM OPUS

EISENBERG, Germany — Not much is known about Woofgang, the prized, pianist pooch of Eisenberg. Some have called the dog a “genius” and given him monikers like “Johann Sebastian Bark.” Others have labeled his story a hoax, and they say that the supposed canine with human hands is not only a scientific impossibility, but an affront to the musical community.

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DOG STEPS FORWARD AS MEGA MILLIONS WINNER

ARCADIA, Kan. — Three winning tickets for last weekend’s record $656 million Mega Millions drawing were sold, but no person has stepped forward to claim the prize. However, one dog has.

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