PHASE TWO: “OPERATION BIG KAHUNA”
Having “liberated the Hawaiian people from imperialist Western rule” and stolen Obama’s home state, Kim Jong Il is hailed as a hero throughout Southeast Asia, and an excited South Korea begs to rejoin the north, according to the plan.
After warning that any attempt to retake Hawaii will result in the mass slaughter of all civilians, North Korea – now just “Korea” – arranges a cease-fire with the United States, which has no choice but to accept.
For four years, there is peace as average Americans forget that the far-off islands were ever part of the States. But in 2013, in a lightning sneak attack, battleships seized from U.S. naval bases in Hawaii and manned by Korean troops arrive on America’s Pacific coast and launch a full-scale ground invasion. Two million Korean fighers overrun America and within three weeks, Korea occupies the United States all the way to the Rockies.
PHASE THREE: “ROCKY MOUNTAIN LOCUSTS”
Another cease-fire is declared, this one establishing a border at the Rockies dividing West America – occupied by Korea – from East America.
California, Oregon, Washington and the rest of the West are divided into 12 provinces of the Korean Empire, each ruled by a warlord.
The new “native Americans” are forced to speak Korean and will “enjoy benefits of the communist system,” according to the plan. Dissidents are to be put on reservations similar to those that house Indians today, but harsher.
But even that doesn’t satisfy Kim Jong Il’s insatiable lust for power.
“The economy of Eastern America is to be systematically undermined, until it is as weak as possible. Meanwhile, a breeding campaign maximizes the population of Western America,” according to the plan.
Within 18 years, a final attack is launched in which invaders pour down from the Rockies and “unite East and West America under the rule of the Korean empire.”
That just might work.
If the timescale were shorter I'd find some shred of believability in it. America sitting back for 4 years whilst the west is occupied? And then waiting another 18? Actually considering the duration of the Iraq war…
Hahahaha
Funny plan.
I think they would notice the troops. Plus NK would not be able to keep it's gains.
Reminds me of trench warfare in WWI.
LOL! Damn it's been days since I've had a good laugh 😀
I'm sorry but that's stupid. (typical of a guy named (ill) What you don't know is that South Korea, and Japan, are better armed than North Korea, and that both Japan and South Korea are now allies against North Korea. Moreover, South Korea has more military fighting ships (Destroyers) than North Korea, more army garrisons, and an elite air force, and this is the reason why a war has not begun between them already. I do admit that the only advantage that North Korea appears to have is Nuclear capability; and I will predict that a cyber attack on the USA will happen (from China) and the (USSR) ; however, South Korea has become a true power to contend with, and Kim Jong IL (mentally ill) is envious at the progress of South Korea, and needs to attack and take the resources of South Korea. This time N. Korea will fail.
Dumb ass. North Korea has not only more nuclear weapons than the South, but many more troops than US, South and Japan combined could send. South Korea is not a legitimate government but an American installed government. Japan is within very close striking distance and will not get involved. China would assist the North should the South and the US retaliate.
:))
Enjoyed a good laughter, and all this paranoid people posting comments about this fantasy situation with cold facts, just made it better. Keep it up
the funny thing is these guys goin' crazy like it was real 😀
hahahah ok first off this is a great LAUGH!
Second Freedom of the press…
Thrid being a long time reader of this newspaper when it was in PRINT!!! If anyone ever beleive this they should just start to line up at the looney bin…
Heck..People who still beleive in Elivs DONT and I repeat DONT beleive in this stuff..Its a great laugh! Thats all nothing more nothing less..
actually I think alot of people are jelous for NOT thinking this stuff up to make a living..I mean come on now LoL..What better way to make a living than making stuff up and then writing it on a web sight in your underwear on your home computer and then watch the money and the insults come flying in….Dang IM in the wrong business LoL
What are you talking about? I've never heard more of an UnAmerican rant as the one you gave. This is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story and WNN is proof that real journalism and the 1-st Ammendment is alive & well & still kickin', in America.
Satire is an art wasted on the tweetwits and blogarithm neoconoclasts.
ALl i can say if that was to ever , ever happen, North Korea would be the one that would be read about in history books there wouldnt be nothing left of it…lol
I'm going to start brushing up on my Korean just in case. This plan seems totally plausible. I'm going to go ahead with ninjitsu classes so that when the Warlords take over the West I'll be poised to become a foot soldier and can move easily up the ranks to a Warlord henchman! Maybe the price of a Hawaiian vacation will go way, way down and I can actually afford to visit.
That si just not going to work because after they invade Hawaii the US will bring back their soldiers and take back Hawaii.
obamas just likea every other president before him…a muppet. you think hes in control…no no, he has his bosses. we are all under control,some of us think we know the extent of it but we never will.were all blind to whats really happening.
ya ll know this is all made up right? It a satire (to define it define it loosely)
why ya'll fighting over a "joke"
ya um 800,000 troops in "junks" i don't think so
Why would South Korean refugees in junks end up all the way in Hawaii when there are many closer, safer places to flee by boat to — Russia, China, Japan, Taiwan. Hawaii? The islands are thousands of miles away.
This is funny. Funny, because it would be impossible to take over the west coast. How do they figure they could over run our military and police, let alone the citizens of US who would take up arms to defend their country? Two million Korean fighters meet 100 million armed civilians armed with military support. Like I said, Funny, Very Funny! LOL.
What Resistance are you talking about?. You mean the thousands of legal and illegal Mexicans,that hate our country and our asses! and would probably help North Korea if they could get a gun.Common armed criminal street elements, street gang members with loyalty to who? and a few thousand looting blacks running out of Wal-Mart with flat screens to hinder the police to form a resistance.Remember Katrina? And you have so called "rag tag" militias, deer hunters, WOGs, retired military, and what active military?,the ones that are currently policing the middle east and spread thin all over the world. A lot of your 100 Million armed civilians about 1/3 or more have no gun training. Many civilians have guns illegal as they cannot pass a background check so they scared to practice shooting it. These people are more danger to themselves and neighbors.You cannot turn the fools in our society into fighting men overnight, this aint the movies.
North Korea couldn't fight it's way out of a wet paper bag. What makes them think that they can take on the USA?
Andrew you speak as if USA is the superior Military of the World lol.. The times have changed my friend. America is not the Super Power they once was, Once Upon A Time…
Do you know that for sure Andrew. A rag tag bunch of rebels kicked Russia's ass.
Local Hawaiians would slaughter a North Korean invasion force of any size.
South Korea could take North Korea in a quick and decisive manner. North Korea is a buzzing mosquito compared to South Korean military strength, and would be swatted away quickly if they are foolish enough to continue to pursue military aggression against South Korea.
I love the commitment this publisher has made towards writing the most absurd articles on the planet.
Comedy Gold!
there is no way they can take the usa we can all fight theres no way ill let so dick take over my land im ready what our army and so on cant get the small guys will this guy is nutts and it will be a small guy like me thast puts a gun to this dicks head!
Uttur bull.Firstly america may be a bit slow but they arent completly stupid and the civilians have more weapons then the acual army so it wouldnt work that well.
Also they forgot to mention the fact that America has pretty much all of Europe, Russia and most importantly the ANZACs. (Sure they dont have many people but they fight hard and dont give up.)
lololol is this guy stupid or crazy? does he know that USA is 10TIMES stronger and bigger then Nkorea? dude we could waste em in 1 year and the next thing you see there is no Nkorea its just…Korea anyway this made me laugh im like "yeah….right good luck"
If someone told you that in year 2000. Less than 20 unarmed men from Saudi Arabia would live among us and successfully carry out a plan to destroy two of our tallest buildings in America and change our country forever that also would have sounded like as you say " a bunch of Bull".But as we all know now.The bulls are running wild nowadays.Maybe we should listen to the reliable AND unreliable sources and give them equal weight..Jonah
NO!! NO!! NO!! first of S.Korea hates N,KOREA! 2nd they couldnt take Pearl Harbor west coast etc. the war would last 3 months!american victory!!. kmon im 13 an i know that! ps. an dare them to try to mess with South! us southern people wouldnt take no sh** from them
You're babbling.
umm there attacking with the russians. the attack will be like the new red dawn. we will be destroyed and any resistance wont be tolerated and then we'll all die.
This is the silliest bunch of trash I have ever read!Whoever wrote this should give up his computer access and be given 500 lashes with a wet noodle,then shot in the head or ass.Where ever his brains are.My name is Boxerman