UPDATE: It has leaked that North Korea may fire a missile at Hawaii in early July. Is this the beginning of their invasion?
Japanese newspapers are reporting that North Korea may launch a Taepodong-2, with a range of up to 4,000 miles, from North Korea’s Dongchang-ni site on the northwestern coast. It would occur between July 4 and July 8.
This would probably be only a scare tactic, as the missile’s capable distance is 500 miles too short to reach the Hawaiian islands. However, South Korea would be easily reachable, and the launch may scare South Koreans into defecting, as laid out in proposed scheme below.
Will North Korea actually begin their crazy plan to take the United States?
June 12, 2009
PYONGYANG – Crafty dictator Kim Jong Il plans to conquer the United States of America in three easy steps without launching a single missile.
An although the scheme may sound absurd, it’s so crazy it just might work!
That is the chilling warning of a Japanese computer-science whiz who downloaded the detailed 42-page plan, complete with maps and timetables, after hacking into the North Korean spy agency – known officially as the Liaison Bureau of the Korean Workers Party – in early May.
The University of Tokyo grad student says he decided to expose the plan in Weekly World News only after his efforts to reveal them were squashed by the White House and mainstream U.S. publications.
“President Obama is trying to keep the focus on peaceful talks, but this seemingly preposterous threat is very real,” says the hacker, who identified himself only by his first name, Hiroshi, in an exclusive WWN interview.
“Kim Jong Il is crazy like a fox. He knows that in a nuclear confrontation with the U.S., he’d be creamed. That’s why he’s distracting us with his empty threats while going low-tech and attacking America by the last means anyone would expected – with boats.”
Here, according to the hacker, is the bizarre North Korean scheme:
PHASE ONE: “OPERATION ALOHA”
While U.S. troops are busy subduing Iraq, North Korea takes advantage of the situation by declaring that unless South Korea agrees to immediate reunification, it will launch a nuclear strike.
Terrified refugees fearing a nuclear holocaust on the Korean peninsula flee in flimsy wooden sailboats known as junks. Thousands of boats, packed to capacity, converge on the Hawaiian islands.
For humanitarian reasons, the U.S. Navy stops try to curtail the wave after the first hundred boatloads of ragged refugees. But the rest are packed with 800,000 well-armed North Korean troops who swarm out of the junks and seize control of Hawaii in a well-timed operation known as K-Day.
Within a matter of hours, America is down to just 49 states and North Korea has its first colony.
WWN Shop
June 12th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
he is fucked up
June 13th, 2009 at 10:56 am
No, this website is. What a bunch of bullshit news from unreliable sources.
June 13th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
That just might work.
June 13th, 2009 at 11:39 am
If the timescale were shorter I’d find some shred of believability in it. America sitting back for 4 years whilst the west is occupied? And then waiting another 18? Actually considering the duration of the Iraq war…
June 13th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Ugh this IS stupid! A, the plan is really crap, because America would fucking annihilate North Korea. And like South Korea would be "begging to join", what a bunch of crap!
June 13th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Hahahaha
Funny plan.
I think they would notice the troops. Plus NK would not be able to keep it's gains.
Reminds me of trench warfare in WWI.
June 13th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
LOL! Damn it's been days since I've had a good laugh
June 14th, 2009 at 12:43 am
I'm sorry but that's stupid. (typical of a guy named (ill) What you don't know is that South Korea, and Japan, are better armed than North Korea, and that both Japan and South Korea are now allies against North Korea. Moreover, South Korea has more military fighting ships (Destroyers) than North Korea, more army garrisons, and an elite air force, and this is the reason why a war has not begun between them already. I do admit that the only advantage that North Korea appears to have is Nuclear capability; and I will predict that a cyber attack on the USA will happen (from China) and the (USSR) ; however, South Korea has become a true power to contend with, and Kim Jong IL (mentally ill) is envious at the progress of South Korea, and needs to attack and take the resources of South Korea. This time N. Korea will fail.
June 14th, 2009 at 3:29 am
this is such bullshit, it's not even funny. The picture is obviously photoshopped, I have personally looked at Mr. Obama's schedule, and he has never met a mr. Hiroshi. In addition, Hiroshi is not a first name, it's a family name. This website is a gossip magazine, and spreads false bullshit that it knows that half of the conservative fucktard nation that is America will believe. 800,000 troops arriving on junks would A. almost immediately run out of supplies, B. have no air or armor support making it impossible to take out any American resistance, and C. if they tried this we would nuke the fuck out of them. I personally wish this website would stop spreading bullshit that you people would even think of believing. I also believe it is a federal offense to make up presidential quotes and meetings, or at least it should if it's at this magnitude. Seriously, STFU WWN.
June 14th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Enjoyed a good laughter, and all this paranoid people posting comments about this fantasy situation with cold facts, just made it better. Keep it up
June 14th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
FUCK THIS WEBSITE. stupid entry. =_=
June 14th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
the funny thing is these guys goin' crazy like it was real
June 15th, 2009 at 12:06 am
hahahah ok first off this is a great LAUGH!
Second Freedom of the press…
Thrid being a long time reader of this newspaper when it was in PRINT!!! If anyone ever beleive this they should just start to line up at the looney bin…
Heck..People who still beleive in Elivs DONT and I repeat DONT beleive in this stuff..Its a great laugh! Thats all nothing more nothing less..
actually I think alot of people are jelous for NOT thinking this stuff up to make a living..I mean come on now LoL..What better way to make a living than making stuff up and then writing it on a web sight in your underwear on your home computer and then watch the money and the insults come flying in….Dang IM in the wrong business LoL
June 15th, 2009 at 2:57 am
What are you talking about? I've never heard more of an UnAmerican rant as the one you gave. This is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story and WNN is proof that real journalism and the 1-st Ammendment is alive & well & still kickin', in America.
June 15th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Satire is an art wasted on the tweetwits and blogarithm neoconoclasts.
June 15th, 2009 at 7:58 am
I like cheese.
June 18th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
ALl i can say if that was to ever , ever happen, North Korea would be the one that would be read about in history books there wouldnt be nothing left of it…lol
June 19th, 2009 at 4:32 am
I'm going to start brushing up on my Korean just in case. This plan seems totally plausible. I'm going to go ahead with ninjitsu classes so that when the Warlords take over the West I'll be poised to become a foot soldier and can move easily up the ranks to a Warlord henchman! Maybe the price of a Hawaiian vacation will go way, way down and I can actually afford to visit.
June 20th, 2009 at 12:24 am
That si just not going to work because after they invade Hawaii the US will bring back their soldiers and take back Hawaii.
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:53 am
ya ll know this is all made up right? It a satire (to define it define it loosely)
why ya'll fighting over a "joke"
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
ya um 800,000 troops in "junks" i don't think so
June 24th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Are you mad? Make sure you get your facts right. USA will strike only when North Korea strike first. Just like during WWII, Japan strike first. This is US style.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Why would South Korean refugees in junks end up all the way in Hawaii when there are many closer, safer places to flee by boat to — Russia, China, Japan, Taiwan. Hawaii? The islands are thousands of miles away.
July 4th, 2009 at 3:21 am
we should show them what a real missel will do . bomb there lil midget asses . they talk tomany threats would we of let iraq talk that shit ? hell with any country that stands with them .
July 5th, 2009 at 3:35 am
This is funny. Funny, because it would be impossible to take over the west coast. How do they figure they could over run our military and police, let alone the citizens of US who would take up arms to defend their country? Two million Korean fighters meet 100 million armed civilians armed with military support. Like I said, Funny, Very Funny! LOL.