FAT COMIC HAS NEW WEIGHT LOSS PLAN!

Monstrously obese, former  comedian Louie Anderson has found a new way to lose weight, which landed him in The Desert Springs Hospital in Las Vegas.

Anderson is a regular customer at the infamous Heart Attack Grill, on Freemont Street, where patrons over 350 pounds eat free. Anderson was between meals, and was famished, so he ordered his  long-time nurse Abie Geisberg fight traffic on Las Vegas Blvd, so that he could graze on a twenty pound cheeseburger.

After eating three pounds, Anderson’s stomach began shaking violently. The ground began to tremble under his chair and restaurant patrons started running out the door in fright.  Anderson’s stomach began to rip open and fragments of hundreds of pounds of food and waste began to cover the table, the patrons, and walls of the restaurant.

Nurse Geisberg tried to hold Anderson’s stomach together, but was covered instead with chunks of unchewed meat, fish bones, cow intestines, and mutton. ” I told him not to put extra onions on his burger,” Geisberg told WWN, “he must have tried to pass gas and something took a wrong turn in his intestinal tract.”

The shaken customers who got part of the food shrapnel were taken to the Trauma Unit of County Hospital where they were treated for minor cuts and lacerations.  Trauma counselors are on hand for all survivors.

Anderson underwent five hours of intensive surgery where his entrails were sewn together with tension cables, used in building and supporting bridges. Anderson is thankful that there were no casualties, “next time I eat a twenty pound cheeseburger, I’ll make sure I take a dump before I go.”

Anderson, who  is expected to make a full recovery, can be seen on reruns of The Family Feud on The Game Show Network.

44 thoughts on “FAT COMIC HAS NEW WEIGHT LOSS PLAN!”

  1. It's a Very informative article, Health is wealth but over healthy is cures. By read out this article I think that you are a very professional in weight loss. I really like your new plan of weight loss and hopes it will be helpful for reducing weight. I'll discuss about your plan with my friends and relatives so that they can able to get benefits from your plan.

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  2. Something doesn't seem too legit about this article… however it does touch on an issue of epidemic proportions (no pun intended)… Weight loss/fat loss is a multi billion dollar business and unfortunately too many of the players are just in it to launch the next latest fad diet or fitness regime to rake in from disheartened and sincere people looking to make a real difference in their life. Every person's body is different, including metabolism and how it processes food/calories. As well each person has a different lifestyle involving activity levels as well as stress levels which all play a part in our overall health and wellness. On top of this in order for any new type of diet or nutrition plan to stick it needs to be customized to the individual to the point where it is sustainable for the long haul… Sure there are certain basic and fundamentals that apply to most people in general but there is no such thing as a one size fits all diet or nutrition plan. Those of us who truly are trying to help the masses trying to lose some pounds will serve them best to begin custom fitting health and wellness plans one at a time for each and every individual.

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