HAVANA – Fidel Castro admitted that the Cuban system doesn’t work and hopped a raft for America.
Fidel Castro told an American journalist that the Cuban economic model doesn’t work. The former Cuban president made the jaw-dropping comment to WWN.  The ailing Cuban leader’s remarks came almost as an aside over lunch recently in Havana.
“The Cuban model doesn’t even work anymore, and never has,” Castro told WWN.   We were stunned by his comment and were not sure we heard him correctly so asked the interpreter if Castro was, in fact, denouncing the Cuban Revolution and his five decades of dictatorship.
“Yes,” Juanita Hidalgo, Castro’s interpreter said.  “He has rejected the ideas of the Revolution and was acknowledging that the Cuban model is wrong and has always been wrong.  The state should not have a big role in the economic life of this country or any country.”
Castro went on to say that he felt President Barack Obama, was turning America into Cuba.  “He is a dictator, like myself.  But he is growing the government too big.  It will destroy America as a world power.”  Castro went on to denounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for his views on the “Jews.”  He also denounced Mel Gibson.  “The man is a fool.  I ordered my people to destroy all Mel Gibson films in Cuba.  Except Braveheart.  I love Braveheart.”
Castro, faced with the dilemma of renouncing the Cuban government, while still being its de facto leader, decided to hop on a raft and head for Miami.  “He just left the building and had his driver take him to the beach.  He hopped on a raft with about thirty other Cubans looking for freedom,” Hidalgo said.
Castro, though sick for years, still needed five Cubans to counter-balance him on the other side of the makeshift raft.  Cubans lined the beaches and watched Castro and his crew float away toward America.
Raul Castro, Fidel’s brother and the President of the Cuban Council of State, was deciding whether to send the army out to sea to get his brother.  “My brother has lost his mind.  The Cuban way of life is the best in the world, just ask Michael Moore.”   Several reporters challenged Raul on his assertion, but before he could answer the reporters were taken outside and shot.
“Never trust the media. That’s the first rule for any good government,” said Raul.
Fidel Castro is expected to wash ashore in Miami this Saturday.   First one to spot him wins… Gloria Estefan’s latest CD!

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  1. This is Incredible, this news about Castro! I always knew that he would cave in, Remember this should be a lesson to our fearless leader Obummer!

  2. While I realize this is supposed to be satire, I hope that anyone interested in this topic will keep in mind that this originated with comments from one Jeffrey Goldberg in THE ATLANTIC.
    Goldberg says he spent five hours talking with the Cuban leader over a three-day time span, yet there's been no transcript made. For fifty years many people in the US media have hoped that Fidel would finally say "uncle" and the interview with Goldberg seems to be the political equivalent precisely of saying "uncle". Absent a transcript, that would see rather dubious.
    Days before Goldberg, 'La Jornada' published their own interview with Castro.
    What "Cuban model" was Casto referring to?
    This issue comes up, & it puts the Goldberg quote in context.
    Here is the relevant excerpt: http://www.granma.cu/ingles/cuba-i/9septiembre-36
    "…In 1962, when the United States decreed the blockade…
    NOBODY, NO COUNTRY, COULD TRADE WITH CUBA; there COULDN’T BE ANY BUYING OR SELLING; heaven help that country or company which did not submit to the COMMERCIAL HARASSMENT decreed by the United States.
    Even today, NO FOOD COMPANY IS ALLOWED TO TRADE WITH CUBA, not even taking into account the importance of the volumes that the island would acquire or because CUBA IS ALWAYS OBLIGED TO PAY CASH IN ADVANCE. We had to resort to BUYING CONTRABAND, even though they were very EXPENSIVE…"


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