Celebrities, like all alleged humans, need love. One such star is Anna Kendrick, the darling of stage and screen, who has been with K’aratazaar, a reptile-pig monster, for years.
The couple met as many Hollywood A-listers do: in a sewer under a hotel. “I was evading paparazzi who were growling and barking outside my hotel door. I gently moved out of the second-story window and snuck into the sewer. That’s when I saw K’aratazaar eating live rabbits like they were french fries,” Anna Kendrick shares. From there, the pair would meet in secret, due to K’aratazaar’s disturbing appearance. He didn’t mind though, sharing “I LOVED Pitch Perfect, but really found Anna to be incredible in A Simple Favor. If you had told me I’d be with a pretty, rich land-dweller one day, I’d have told you to take a hike.”
You may find it odd that Kendrick could be interested in a 9’4 monster with fangs that drip saliva and skin moist from poop juice. But she says that’s what she loves about him. “He’s always wet, which is nice when you’re always dehydrated.” K’aratazaar confided in us that his height can be a real asset in private, unexpected ways not necessarily suitable for a public paper with a general readership. “Sometimes, late at night, if Anna and I have had a few drinks, she might ask if I can clear out a Sephora for her. Being a giant monster has a way of clearing out all the people painting their fourth toenail from the sample bottles and all the 37-year-old women who are trying to look 36.”
MANAGING THEIR RELATIONSHIP
When it comes to temptations on set, Anna shares that that’s not a problem in her relationship. “There are certain things a very tall monster can do for a gal that human actors can’t. If they could, no one would ever get any work done.” This has been a great boost for K’aratazaar’s self-esteem since he wasn’t always so confident in his monstrosity. “In my world, I’m quite small. Growing up, I was always being picked up by the scruff. I was teased for being so short and scrawny compared to my peers, who were the average height of 13’. Being with Anna has changed all that. She is used to heights of 6’4 and under. She’s helped me understand I can be worthy of a beautiful woman.”
While the two don’t hear wedding bells yet, they’re going strong, and have plans for the future. “We’re going to Africa this summer. Maybe Japan. I want to go to locales where he can be revered and respected, not just seen as something scary or evil.” Anna then tells us about a recent attempt to take K’aratazaar to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. “On the one hand, it was great because we got to go on all the rides for free. On the other hand, everyone ran screaming from the park, so we had to learn how to operate the rides ourselves.”
Are you saying that Anna Kendrick is dating Donald Trump’s Twin?
Maybe it seems strange that Kendrick would be fascinated in a 9-foot-tall monster with saliva-dripping teeth and skin damp from pee juice.
See the gender of this reptile