Weekly World News learned early this evening that the Russian President, Vladimir Putin will be joining Donald J. Trump on the campaign trail this weekend. They will be making joint appearances in Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Florida, North Carolina, and New Jersey.
This reporter got hold of Putin directly to confirm that he has officially endorsed Donald Trump and that he will making the highly unusual decision to campaign on American soil for a candidate for President of the United States. “I like Donald Trump very much and he likes me. I think we will get along very very well. I will, of course, kick his ass whenever I want, but I would rather have meetings with Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton, who is a devil worshiper and a boozer.”
Though Donald Trump had previously denied ever meeting Putin, WWN uncovered several photos of the two strong leaders enjoying some time frolicking on a horse.
In fact, Donald Trump has already invited Putin to go golfing with him at his Doral Golf Club in Miami on November 9th.
Hillary Clinton and her campaign are outraged about this direct foreign intervention in the American election. “It is illegal for any foreign country to participate in our election in any way shape or form,” said John Podesta, Hillary Clinton’s Chief of Staff. “We would never in a million years even think of doing something as illegal as that, unless we got a lot of money for it.” As a side note, there were over three hundred emails from Podesta to Putin in the latest batch of his emails released by Wikileaks. In one email, Podesta asked Putin, “Did you get a chance to use that red reset button Hillary left for you. If you push that button three times, Hillary will send you some classified information.”
The Clinton campaign is asking Donald Trump to cancel the events with Putin. Trump told WWN “the Clinton campaign is full of stupid, stupid people who don’t know how to win. Putin knows how to win, that’s why he will take the stage with me. I don’t like people who aren’t men.”
Pundits are wondering why Trump will be going to New Jersey with Putin. “Trump is behind Clinton by 24 points in New Jersey. “Why on earth would they go there?” Anderson Cooper asked WWN. Putin’s Chief of Staff told WWN that Putin has a lot of friends, KGB agents, and expensive call girls stationed in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, so he wants to mix a little business with pleasure.
There are rumors that Donald Trump may make Putin part of his administration, most likely as Secretary of State. This reporter will be embedded with Putin while he is in the U.S. Inside his brain.