PYONGYANG, North Korea — Mickey Mouse and North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong Un, married on state TV.
Kim Jong-un has long been a fan of Disney. When he was a little boy, his father, Kim Jon II, had him watch Disney cartoons for hours every day. Some say this was to distract his son, others say it was a way to keep his son entertained.
The state-run Korean Central News Agency said Kim was “happier than anyone had ever seen any leader of North Korea in over fifty years.”
Nobody dared to tell Kim Jong-un that there was a woman in the Minnie Mouse costume. “To do so would mean death,” said an unnamed source in North Korea.
So how will government officials keep up the charade. “The government has hired seven women to play Minnie Mouse, Mrs. Kim Jong-un. One for each day of the week. We believe that the new leader will never know that Minnie is really just a woman in costume.”
Mickey tried to talk Minnie out of marrying Kim Jong-un:
Under Kim Jong Il, who died in December, North Korea became well-known for its massive Arirang shows, synchronized dance and gymnastics shows involving up to 100,000 people.
Now, North Korea will be known as Disneyland of the East. Over the weekend, Kim Jong-Un had a Disney show and has ordered all children in North Korea to own Minnie Mouse lunch boxes and backpacks.
The Walt Disney Corporation did not sanction the marriage and said that no licenses were granted for North Korea. Though, if North Korea wants to pay a large fee to Disney for using the likeness of Minnie Mouse, Disney has no objection to the marriage
And what about Mickey?
Anyone who spots Mickey Mouse in North Korea is ordered to report the sighting to the army. When captured Mickey Mouse will be hung in public, according to Kim Jong-Un’s wishes.
Kim, who is in his late 20s, has sought to project an image of youth, vitality and modernity. And now… he hopes to have a beautiful Minnie Mouse baby in the near future.
How will the North Koreans pull that off?
“Scientists are working overtime to figure that out,” said a source in North Korea. “If they don’t figure it out, they will be die.”
Early Sunday, Kim Jong-Un led top officials, and his wife, in paying their respects to his grandfather, North Korea founder Kim Il Sung, at the mausoleum where he lies in state.
What would Kim II Sung think of his grandson’s bride?