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AL FRANKEN JOE LIEBERMAN


Senator Al Franken shut up Joe Lieberman on the Senate floor yesterday.  Lieberman quickly responded with fisticuffs!

Minnesota Senator Al Franken has been flexing his political muscle of late, taking on Republicans who are trying to block Democrat bills.  On Monday he reprimanded Senator John Thune for only intentionally misrepresenting facts on the Health Care bill.  When Thune objected to being spoken to in such a way Franken asked if “the Senator from South Dakota would like to take it outside?”  John Thune abdicated the rest of his time.

Yesterday Franken set his sights on Joe Lieberman.  Lieberman has been at odds with the Democrats ever since he switched from their party to being technically classified as an “Independent,” and began sitting with the Republicans at lunch.  since then he has sided with Republicans at every turn, most recently in filibustering to block passage of the Health Care bill.  Yesterday Lieberman used up his allotted time and asked for more.  Franken said no.  There was a tense stare down between the two middle aged political giants.  Lieberman spoke up “You can’t tell me what to do!  I’m an Independent!  I don’t play by your rules!”  Franken answered “Seriously Joe, you need to shut up.”  “Or what?  What are you gonna do about it, Franken-weenie?”  Lieberman popped the collar of his ill-fitting leather jacket.  Franken vaulted over the podium onto the Senate floor to face off with Lieberman!

Franken and Lieberman stood face to face staring each other down.  “Does the Senator relenquish the floor?” Franken bellowed.  “No” Lieberman replied in a cool determined voice.  Franken backhand slapped Joe Lieberman in the face.  “Does the Senator relenquish the floor!?”  “No” he replied again.  Again Al Franken slapped Joe Lieberman as hard as he could.  “Come on Joe, are you gonna do something?  Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?”  Spit a little blood on the Senate floor, then launched himself at Franken.

Al Franken and Joe Lieberman faught on the Senate floor for some time.  The fight had been a long time coming, and was the culmination of strong animosity felt by both sides.  Democrats cheered on Franken, who was dealing blows they had all wanted to issue since Lieberman crossed the aisle.  And the Republicans cheered on Lieberman who was taking on the Democrats in a way they had all been wanting to since falling out of power.  Some of the Senators immediately began taking bets, giving Franken 3/2 odds.  After several minutes security broke the two up with no clear winner.

Both parties of the Senate cheered their respective champions as security led them to the Senatorial Quiet Rooms.  Lieberman would not stop screaming as security pulled him away “You can’t hold me back!  Nobody tells Joe Lieberman what to do!”  Al Franken responded “I’ll see you next time Joe Lieberman!  Next Time!”