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WORLD’S WEIRDEST FORTUNE COOKIES


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Take a look at some of the pearls of wisdom we found in everybody’s favorite oyster-like treat.

Fortune cookies delight us in so many ways: the brittle sweetness, the excitement of finding out what’s inside, the promise of a check still unpaid.  But whatever we choose to tip our surly but admittedly efficient waiter, at least we get advice that’s good enough to eat.

  • Lady luck will visit you at work, but you will be in the middle of something.
  • You are a wise, fortunate person given to ordering more food from great Chinese restaurant.
  • With each passing day you become more malleable.
  • You will find happiness, then lose it again, then find that you’ve lost it.
  • Please sit down.  There is much to discuss.
  • You should not have come here, young one.
  • Do not trust anyone over thirty or under thirty-one.
  • You have an acceptable sense of direction.
  • The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to heaven is not yet paved due to a stalled ordinance.
  • In bed.
  • A suitable metaphor for your life is on the horizon.
  • Do not make important decisions while skydiving.
  • Trust your enemies, not your friends, for some reason.
  • ‘Good things come in small boxes’ is an underused innuendo.