Scientists discover that the New Years Eve blue moon was caused by an angelic pool party!
Revelers around the world enjoyed a rare blue moon last night while ringing in the new year. However, scientists researching the rare phenomena discovered that it was caused by an an angelic pool party. High powered telescopes revealed angels frolicking on a moon that had been covered in water! Below is an photograph taken from a passing satellite.
Scientists have been thrown for a loop. Never before has modern science caught glimpses of angels throwing a party. Suddenly the surface of the moon was covered with water that the entire angelic host was playing in. At some point between 4 and 5 am, just as quickly as it had appeared, the angels and the water vanished leaving the moon as dry and lonely as it was before.
Religious scholars are eagerly dissecting images from the event. Squirt guns, inflatable rafts, and bikinis were seen on angelic messengers of all distinctions. A redirected weather satellite caught footage of a squirt gun fight between cherubim and seraphim. Gabriel the Archangel was seen keeping order, and if an angel got too rowdy he would smack them with a pool noodle. While it has always been a matter of ecumenical debate how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, we now have photographic evidence of how many angels it takes to do a keg stand: 3.
Most scholars now agree that the rare blue moon is a visual side effect caused by the angelic host being given a night off for a lunar pool party. Last night’s event just happened to be timed while most of the globe was also celebrating to ring in the new year. Unfortunately all of the world’s guardian angels were also busy at the pool party while most of the globe was drinking last night, which explains the unusually high number of accidents reported around the world.