NORMAN, OK – Country singer Toby Keith offended Asian people everywhere with a racist gesture. His manager blames it on Keith having been lobotomized early in his career.
Toby Keith offended millions at the Nobel Peace Price after party last week. While Will Smith sang “Rappers Delight” Keith pulled his eyes back to illustrate the word “yellow” with a racist gesture. Since then his management has come forward saying “We apologize for any offense Mr. Keith has caused. Mr. Keith himself does not understand what he did as he received a lobotomy to help further his country music career.”
Toby Keith elected to be partially lobotomized to better his chances of being a country music star. Years ago Keith was an associate professor of linguistics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In between his post-doctoral work Keith, who then went by Tobias, self-released an album, Unfamiliar Skies. Critics described his work as like Brian Eno with an electric guitar and a mouth full of dip. Executives with Nashville Records saw the potential in the young man, but knew his work was too smart to relate to the average country western audience. So Toby Keith elected to have a small section of his brain removed so as to better relate to a country-western audience.
Since critically impairing his cognitive function in the early 90’s Keith has become one of Country music’s biggest stars. His trademark hat is always worn to hide the massive scars from where sections of his frontal lobe were removed. Now he requires a handler and is unable to do math, but he made $14 million last year alone.
Management for Keith say that he does not yet understand why what he did was wrong, but they will continue to explain it to him. Nashville Records has issued a formal apology and promised that Mr. Keith’s handlers will make sure he does not do that again.