Just when you thought we had enough to worry about, there’s a new disease going around. This swine flu thing is coming up from Mexico, which makes me gladder than ever I do like every good American and mow my own damn lawn. I don’t eat their funny food or wear big straw hats, so I figure I’m safe.

We keep hearing reports from Mexican scientists – hell, I never knew they had scientists down there in the first place! What do they do all day? Predict when the Virgin Mary’s gonna show up again? Invent fart-free beans?

Last time we had swine flu, Jimmy Carter was President. He gave people needles and they dropped dead! Typical: Democrats are always trying to fix stuff by making it worse. Today we’ve got the new Jimmy Carter in the White House, so if the Teleprompter Kid tries to stick a needle in your arm, run for your life!

If we had a wall at the Mexican border, none of this would be happening. I bet that Janet Neapolitan will say the flu’s coming over the Canadian border instead, and call it “beaver flu”! Cuz we can’t make Mexico mad at us. After all, they may punish us by sending all their poor people to live here and steal our jobs and suck our schools and hospitals dry, and we can’t have that!

They say this new flu is spread by pigs. Maybe pigs are just ticked off at us for making footballs out of them, and comparing them to Rosie O’Donnell.

We should’ve seen this coming when Mama Cass choked on that ham sandwich! Pigs are getting their revenge on mankind, America! Wake up and smell the bacon!


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  1. You have it wrong. Ford was president when we had the swine flu scare in the 70`s and they tried to vaccinate the whole country getting a bunch of people very sick. I`m no Jimmy fan but you can`t nail him for the Swine flu debacle back then.

  2. I think this article is very racist, you are still with the thought of mexican people walking in the streets with "ponchos" and mariachi hats, also you said: "funny food". If you may have had the interest to look pictures of places in México maybe you can notice the people is wearing shoes like converse, DC, Nike, Puma, New wave and others. Also the clothes here we know the tshirts, suits, pants, and werte the same as you. About the funny food we know McDonalds, Coca Cola, Fridays, Starbucks, and yes we have the steert food like tacos, gorditas, tortas, and in folkloric places chapulines, animal meat like iguana but they don't are our daily meal, poor of you that you have to suffer with food like the one you get in Taco Bell that's a shame for the mexican tacos. And i prefered to have a meal made in home better than having a big mac with extra size soda and potatoes.
    And what about " We keep hearing reports from Mexican scientists – hell, I never knew they had scientists down there in the first place! What do they do all day? Predict when the Virgin Mary’s gonna show up again? Invent fart-free beans?" Here in México we do have scientist and they concern for the health of the society, and they are not related with religion. Those are two different things that didn't mix.
    Now in México there's a real pandemia and if you laugh at that denigrating Mexican culture bad for you, and don't worry the pigs and their meat aren't dangerous so you don't have to stop eating your thousand of pounds of bacon and ham and you don't have to kill your pig pet because of the swine flu.

  3. Carter did however have sin in his heart as he so aptly confessed to Playboy.
    Wasn't Carter's brother, Billy, a hog farmer?
    Could there be a link?

  4. Don't let people who are racist get the best of you–maybe they were brought up like that and if not then so be it….We'll never get people to like other people… big deal—enjoy your day and be better than others…have fun reading about ignorant people like them…and as far as the best of the best foods is Mexican Food—-to the 95 % people here….

  5. This is a really funny article…dang people have a sense of humor, are you going to be like the people who killed Van Gogh's great-grand nephew over that cartoon?! Sheesh – this 'paper' [online mag] is meant to be light humor reading poking fun at current events, not reality.

  6. Do Caucasians get mad at George Lopez, Daman Wayans, or other 'minority' comedians for being racist saying that whites have no rhythym, short penises, are ugly, have whiney voices and so forth? Not that I know of…but they have to take it with a grain of salt, a pinch of humor and a barrel of laughs because they know it's A JOKE people…do you undertand what a JOKE IS?!!

  7. This is a tough crowd!! Maybe you should go to another site where you can be all angry and hateful…in here it's about imagination, laughter, poking fun at our insecurities and stuff like that helping us get through the tough times by making a funny. What's wrong with that?

    And don't give me ANY more crud about racism that is SO over since there's a 'minority' in the White House…stick a fork in it already it's DONE!! And while you're at it…take my motto, please:

    "I'm a VICTOR and not a VICTIM"

  8. Maybe if you say that a few times you won't be hyper-sensitive to silly jokes that are totally not aimed at you but at our general society. Please, grow up and lose the fear. Virtual hug happening right now – let's make it a group hug. <Smile, wink. grin>

  9. All those mexican comments fail to see who Ed anger is, and why does he write these ultra-wing posts. Really. I am mexican and i found it funny >.> You guys need a sense of humor, let the oversensitiveness to the gringos ;D

    • Why is there intense coverage over such a small event? Is there perhaps something not being revealed? This is kind of curious, especially since the government had to import a mexican that had the flu so we could claim our first official death in America.

    • Everyone just seems to be so hyper sensitive to any remarks that carry a label such as Swiss, German, Mexican, African, American, etc…who knows why everyone just can't seem to fathom that this is all just farcical nonsense and not an attack. Every article in the Weekly World News is merely meant to entertain not hurt. Laughing doesn't hurt, heck I'm giggling right now!! Hopefully they'll find the other articles / vids like the swine flu vid 'that happened in rural New Zealand' – which is an excerpt from the movie 'Willow' where the witch turns people into pigs LOL…and be able to have a laff 'n' a haff 🙂

  10. SIGNOFTHETIMES- if you really dont care as much then why do you keep coming here and post more of your stupid nonsence. It seem like when ED typed this article he wasnt trying to give a joke for everyone to laugh at, all he did was be rude and racist yeah i said it racist yeah you might find it funny but not everyone does. so thank you very much and all of what DETOCHEMOROCHO typed was totally right and he put you and ED on your place.

  11. what ed said was like he was trying to make a joke out of this situation. i dont think its funny and i am taking it very serious even though i am a young girl. i have the flu at the moment and it frightens me to think it could be more and thats what i have tought since i got this flu. all im saying is dont make a joke out of this when it involves people dying from this disease.

  12. Human beens are dying in mexico, and you made fun of that, are you a person, do you also made fun about 9/11 or that its diferent. Have respect for the humans wherever the nationality is. because there are nothing worse. that made fun of the suffering of others. I do'nt agree that this is a joke. and I hope the flu don't get your family. but I promese if that hapend I will prey for them.

  13. The flu seems going now every where . I hope if you family got that and die, you still thinking that is funny and we can made jokes about that

    • If you don't want to hear jokes why do you come here? If you want to be serious and bring everybody down, go over to CNN or the Rush Limbaugh site or something. This is an ENTERTAINMENT mag!! Sheesh! Before you sling your curses at me and mine remember that every time you point a finger – 3 more are pointing back at you–P.Hew is a good name for you…P.U.—your sense of humor stinks!

    • Dear signofthetimes, I think you have really missed the mark. This site is not simply entertainment, it's REAL news. You can see it in all the "quality" pictures that the crack photography staff have captured.

      And BTW, did "p. hew" just wish that me and my family die of swine flu?

      I think he didn't get the memo, death kills more people in the world than cancer, the flu, AIDS, car wrecks, and I can go on and on. When will the WHO, the CDC and now the Obama administration address this serious problem?

  14. Boo Frickedy Hoo…Jossey…you're such a martyr. I come here because it's a free country and I want to voice my opinion just like you do. If everyone would stop being so freakin' stOOpid about stuff we probably wouldn't have the issues we do have these days. Meaning instead of African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Swiss-Americans, Irish-Americans…etc…we would all just be Americans…there wouldn't be 'racism' or a reason for you to feel righteous indignation, Jossey. I know it makes you SO special, but I'm special too. So put that in your pipe and smoke it while your horns hold up your halo. I kinow I don't walk on water, but obviously you and people like you do think so…What Ed Anger said is funny and I'm still laughing!! HA HA HA…

  15. Jeezus..what is wrong with you people…you need to get a sense of humor, irony and sarcastic wit. Why you gotta harsh my joke bubble? Go to some serious site and gripe there!! Leave Weekly World News to the people who enjoy the humor, irony, and sarcastic wit. Geez…get a grip, gripey!!

  16. I'll drive to your front door, wait until you stick your ugly face out, and sneeze right in your mouth. See if that makes you laugh… it'll definetely kill my boredom and yes, make ME laugh.

    • haha thats funny. But i think that he was totaly racist. Bet it it was american people spreading it he wouldnt like it if they made fun of them.

  17. Come on guys! It's a freaking JOKE website! It's SUPPOSED to to funny! Get a sense of humor already! I think Ed Anger is hilarious myself 🙂

  18. I do agree with all the concepts you have presented on your post. They're very convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very quick for starters. May just you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

  19. Ed anger Boycott this Scumbag he was up on charges for the sexuall assault of a minor and he was in jail ten years ago for beaten up a 6 year old black and is father was a prominent kkk leader this fella is sick in the head shame on you for agreeing with him


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