FIJI – Physicist Matthew Bowen reports that, following the successful detonation of nuclear payload G-417, girlfriend Julie Belcourt is now his fiancée.

“The triggering mechanism functioned perfectly, the blast radius was within projected parameters, and we’ve set the date for August,” said Bowen.  “To be safe, we’re thinking of honeymooning in a low-radiation setting, possibly Venice.”

Although fallout procedure precluded a romantic dinner, the shelter afforded the happy couple an abundance of canned goods, not to mention a front-row seat to the explosion.

Asked how he came up with the idea, Bowen grew misty-eyed.  “Julie told me a long time ago that, when she was a little girl, she had always dreamed there would be fireworks at her proposal,” he said.  “I just thought, how much cooler would it be if I irradiated the whole damn place?  A big marriage deserves a big boom.”

The nuclear test was conducted with the participation of several government agencies seeking to expand their nuclear arsenals.  Although some have questioned the wisdom of allowing a personal matter to enter the public-funded sphere, the team-leading French delegation was won over by Bowen’s grand romantic gesture.

“C’est l’amour,” said Dr. Gerard Claremont, who gave his blessing to both the bomb test and the marriage.  “Who are we to stand in the way of two young people looking to express their commitment to each other by advancing the sophistication of nuclear war?”

“The real bomb is love,” he added.

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  1. I believe the usa is the only country who ever used atomic weapons on an unsuspecting CIVILIAN population TWICE. Also i read that the Japanese surrendered 2 weeks prior to those events…it seems they needed a civilian population to test the effectiveness of said weapons. All wars are staged events geared to eradicate the ignorant masses while putting the profiets of the war machine in the pockets of the rulers behind the politics we see everyday. The two lovers whom so desperatly needed to have a big boom to signify their love for one another should have got married on the fourth of july or mabey chinese new year instead of at the expense of evryone else. If i had my way id have asked them to stand at ground zero for the full effect. These people make me sick.

  2. Any rational human being would know that detonating a nuclear device anywhere on the planet is a hideous violation against all living creatures present and future. Testing these devices and spreading ratioactive waste onto all manner of flora and fauna, to IMPROVE ways of destoying the planet is a contradiction in itself. What huberous to assume the authority to be able to destroy areas of the planet for scientific purposes? Moreover seeing as one group is able to posses nuclear weapons over another, being sanctioned for trying to get out from under the boot heels of those, whom enslave us through fossil fuels.

  3. mike you really have no idea what your talking about!
    the japanese did not surrender 2 weeks prior. those atomic bombs saved us over a million men from dieing in the invasion of mainland japan.
    plus you are aware that every story on this site is Fake.. do you??


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