RAMSEY, NJ – Don Bosco High School, the nation’s perennial #1 h.s. football team, has agreed to join the NCAA’s Big East conference.
This month there were major changes in NCAA Division 1 conference alignments for football.
The Big East recently lost Syracuse and Pittsburgh to the ACC and are scrambling to find teams to add to their conference to make them more competitive and entertaining.  So Big East executives made a radical move, and decided to invite powerhouse Don Bosco Preparatory High School to their conference.  Don Bosco has accepted the invitation.

Don Bosco High School has the nation’s dominant high school football program. They absolutely crush every opponent they play – from all across the country.   They thrashed the consensus #4 team in the country – St. Edward of Lakewood, Ohio and just demolished Bergen Catholic High School for the New Jersey State Championship and the National Title.
Bosco has won 45 games in a row and clearly are the dominant high school program in the country.
So far this year, they have defeated nationally ranked teams from Mission Viejo, CA and Manatee, FL along with their toughest opponent – local rival Bergen Catholic.  But sadly (for BC), Bosco embarrassed them at MetLife Stadium on December 3rd.
The talent level on both Don Bosco’s football and basketball team is of such a high caliber that they can easily compete with most NCAA Division 1 schools.  The Big East wanted to shake things up in the NCAA and inviting Don Bosco to join the conference certainly has caused quite a firestorm.
“It’s an unusual move, but I think it’s something that will make the Big East much more  competitive.  Right now, Bosco can compete with most Division 1 schools in the country and having them in the Big East will  be a huge plus for  us,” said Big East Conference Director, Gary Flink.  “It’s going to be exiting watching the The Ironmen tackle the Big East.”
Don Bosco has 20-25 Division 1 caliber players on their current roster including: Darius Hamilton, Leonte Caroo, Yuri Wright, Elijah Shumate, Frank Nutile,  Mike Yankovich, Jabrill Peppers, Mike D’Alessandro, Michael Strizak, John Wilkins, Frank Failace, and Jared Goldenberg – among others.

ESPN’s top college football analyst, Kirk Hirbstreit, feels that Don Bosco, coached by the legendary Greg Toal, has the playmakers, the skill players and the depth to defeat UConn, University of South Florida, Rutgers and the rest of the Big East every year.
“I think within 3 years of being in the Big East, Bosco will be playing for a BCS championship,” said Kirk Herbstreit.  “Maybe sooner.”
Congress is looking into making changes to NCAA football, perhaps adding a playoff system.   A number of Congressmen were told about Bosco and many feel that adding Don Bosco Preparatory High School to the Big East – will meet with easy Congressional approval.
Go Bosco!

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  1. Please never compare a high school program to even the worst college football team in the nation. What ever graduate from Bosco needs to remember what school has destroyed them for the last 50 years (BC) and show some respect.

    • Ben you’re an idiot just for saying that. The best high school kids play in college and/or don’t make college teams. Same goes for college to pros. Men vs. Boys. A bunch of d3 20 year olds would stomp this group of 16-17 year olds in a heart beat just based on pure maturity. Please all of you, stop being morons and write about something people actually care about. Also stop editing the comments and let people read what truly is said about this garbage.

  2. Pure and utter nonsense. This article belongs in the onion. What a disgusting farse and the guy who wrote it should do everyone a favor and take up spelunking without a parachute.

  3. I hear the writer of this article is editing and deleting comments? How does that reflect how the people really feel? Sad, a real newspaper takes the good comments with the bad, as to not compromise integrity.

    • Dear Let The People Be Heard,
      Thanks for your comment. Only one comment has been deleted – for inappropriate language and incomprehensible spelling. We have only edited one comment – this one – just for fun. But we do appreciate you calling us pathetic.
      Also, put Don Bosco on the field with Rutgers, Louisville, or UConn… and let’s see who walks away the victor.
      Frank Lake
      Weekly World News

    • Frank,
      Funny how not a single word was misspelled and my writing is clear, very comprehensible and coming from someone who is in the process of defending a PHD dissertation. My friends told me you have edited three of the above comments, none of which had a single curse word. Please have some integrity and accept criticism like a real journalist does without making up reasons for editing comments to benefit this crazy agenda.
      Bergen Catholic Rules!
      Johnathan Dwyer, PHD Yale
      Bag boy, Stop and Shop NY NY

    • Dear Jonathan Dwyer Real Journalist,
      Thank you for your comment. Checking our comments log, we did not find any other missives from you. Perhaps you sent them to the wrong interweb. Is that possible? And, I agree, your grammar, punctuation and spelling are impeccable. In fact, the editors got together this morning and decided to give you 11 stars (out of a possible 10), so… congratulations!
      We are curious about one of your statements. You say that Bergen Catholic rules. This may be true in some areas – perhaps BC has an awesome Ping Pong team or Spelling Club, but when it comes to football, they are consistently crushed by Don Bosco. So in that regard you are mistaken… Don Bosco, in fact, rules.
      Thanks again,
      Frank Lake
      Weekly World News
      (also guest lecturer at Harvard University)

  4. Frank,
    Just a little background on myself so you don’t question my education level and/or qualifications. I am the director of the The Science Education Department (SED) of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.
    I have to agree with my collegue Dr. Hertz and say that this article belongs in the Onion, not a reputable news blog/paper/magazine.
    I also checked our records and can’t find any lectures you have given on campus. Hope to see you around the university and if you want to be a guest speaker feel free to reach out to my TA or secretary.

  5. How any reputable or well known publication would allow one of their writers to concoct a story like this, let alone the mere fact he might actually consider it a possibility, is beyond comprehension. This article is funnier than something you would find in the cheapest tabloid sold @ the dollar store. Joke or not, this is a waste of time, thought, energy and brain cells that could have been given to someone who really needs them.
    As a graduate of a MAJOR program in the Big East Program, and intern in the strength and conditioning program roughly 10 years ago, I can guarantee you, the 86th best player on my alma mater, or any Big East team would run over, and probably send one of these BOYS to the hospital or worse..
    What a waste of time this is… If there were any truth or reality in the idea, then hs students would forgo their senior seasons and jump right up into college football wouldn't they?

  6. you guys are all ass-hats! don't you know what website this is? what else are you going to believe,Batboy is the new Republican candidate? get a life if you're going to argue on a satiratical website. beside, I played against Don Bosco HS,and they could probably beat 3 or 4 NFL clubs at this point.(please note the hint of sarcasm).

  7. Does anyone else notice the guys name is frank lake and the school is in ramsey right outside FRANKLIN LAKES NJ!! A town in which many many of its boys go to Don Bosco!! This is not right an makes no sense!! They r recruited from Jersey and the other schools scower the country! So your gonna tell me some 16 yr old kid who is 225 is gonna go against some 20 yr old who is 275-300? Haha good luck!!


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