LONDON – The Royal Family is not happy with Kate Middleton’s royal manners and has sent her off to Princess School!

Look at that wave.  Is that the way a Princess should wave?

Kate Middleton, now the Duchess of Cambridge since she up and married Prince William, is pretty and poised and seems to the manor born.   But the royal family says she still needs “a great deal” of work, so she’s taking royalty lessons.

The Telegraph reports that Middleton, who has only performed one official Duchess Duty since returning from her trip to Canada with Wills, has been meeting with “experts on government, the arts and the media” to help train her for her many important royal responsibilities.

The Queen of England did not like the way Princess Kate posed for this picture:

Princess School is a “marked contrast” from what Diana went through when she started doing her royal thang, which was no training whatsoever. So either the royals have learned from Diana’s dreadful, near-feral ways, or a party supply heiress isn’t quite as cut out for the crown as it may seem.

Princess Kate has had a lot of difficulty walking straight, using her napkin, crossing her legs properly and using the royal bathroom in appropriate ways.

Does this look like a Princess walking?

And what about this.  Even William had a problem with the placement of her hand on hip:

Kate has been sent to Princess School in Lacanshire in Northern England, where she will study with renowned Princess Whisperer, Dame Marjorie Maple, who is reportedly the only woman on earth with “proper manners in every situation”.  Dame Maple met with Princess Kate and had this report:

“Kate is very pretty and has a great smile, but she’s been infected by the culture of today.  Her manners are equivalent to those of a dead circus cat.  It will take me two years to get her in shape, but I am confident I can do it. ”

Dame Maple said that she would spend the rest of this month and all of October just teaching Kate about how to use forks, knives and spoons.  “She’s dreadful with forks.  She used a salad fork to eat her Yorkshire Pudding.  Simply dreadful.”

Sources close to Kate says that she is already “sick of being Princess” and just wants to go to a pub and “drink the night away.”  But Prince William has insisted that she learn how to be a proper princess.

So far there is only one student in Princess School.  Might there Kate’s American counterpart join her soon?


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  2. I dont believe dutchess kate has numerous bad habits the Royal family wants her to lose. If she werent up to Williams standards, he wouldnt have married her. I;ve heard her table manners are impeccable so I truly doubt she has trouble using the correct forks and spoons. This is all hyperbole to draw people to your site.

  3. Hi,
    Kate Middleton needs to have a make over of her hair and makeup. Princess Diane has more updated clothing and make up. Kate seems to be more conservative and more blend. Loved Diane’s fashion.


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