ALASKA – Three captains quit the hit reality show “Deadliest Catch,” but they signed a new one:  Captain Hook.

Captain Hook, who was played by Dustin Hoffman in the movie, “Hook,” is a real Captain that fishes in the Atlantic Ocean.  He has been signed on to replaced Capts. Jonathan and Andy Hillstrand and Capt. Sig Hansen, who quit the other day.
The Hillstrand brothers quit after being sued by Discovery for not working on a planned spin-off show entitled, Hillstranded.  That’s when the Hillstrands quit, and Hansen joined them.
“We have been through a lot over the past year and unfortunately given the current situation with Discovery we are unable to continue participating in ‘Deadliest Catch,'” the fishermen said in a joint written statement.

The Hillstrand Brothers

Discovery Channel executives have moved on.  “We had a great run with the Hillstrands and Sig, but now we are moving on.  Captain Hook is going to be great for the show,” said Producer Joe Lanacon.
“Captain Hook is a villainous thief and a pirate, but he also knows how to catch crab,” said Lanacon.  “I think his crab count is going to blow everyone else out of the water.”
Asked if he was worried that Captain Hook might attack other crab boats, Lanacon said, “No, that’s what makes good TV.  The conflict.  We always want conflict.  And Captain Hook and his crew of thugs and murders is really going to spice up the series.”
Captain Hook was unavailable for comment, but his spokesman did say that he intends on “catching a lot of crab and stealing a lot of crap.”
The other Captains in the fleet are gearing up for Captain Hook, they have all put canons on their crab boats.
“It’s gonna be a great season,” said Lanacon.  “It’s really going to be the Deadliest Catch.”

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  1. My husband and I have watched all the seasons and love the show, but this is it.. We are done watching Discovery…Shame on you….We are boycotting the Discovery Channel. Len & Glenda Rosa

  2. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read – is this a bad joke? Too bad – I used to love that show – would be too embarrassed to watch it now.

  3. I do hope he steals crab from the hilstrands big time. They made a lot of money of deadliest catch. I thought they was alright but ditching the fans the way they did they deserve what they get.

  4. This has got to be a joke ~ I know several captains who have been interviewed for the new season, and this guy was not one of them!

  5. This has got to be a joke! I know several of the captains that have been interviewed for the new season, and this guy was never mentioned.

  6. I'll only tune in to Discovery from now on if I need lessons on "How to cut your nose off to spite your face". Epic fail!

  7. lmao you people need to relax this is a very well known rag sheet, not everything is real. I don't doubt the hillstrands left the show, but replace them with a movie actor? Come on it's a joke. Bat boy, PHD ape? Half the photos are just photoshopped, horribly photo shopped mind you…I only come here to laugh.

  8. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post's to be exactly I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn't mind writing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome blog!


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