Exodus Fires Entire Band, Then Rehires Itself

“Gary Holt Has Parted Ways with Gary Holt… and Also Welcomes Back Gary Holt”

In what is being described as the most Groundhog Day-esque moment in thrash metal history, Exodus has fired its entire lineup—including and especially Gary Holt—only to immediately rehire itself.

The official statement, released via the band’s Instagram page, read:

“Exodus have parted ways with Exodus. We thank Exodus for their years of being a band and all the killer music we made during that time. We wish Exodus only the best in the future and much success with anything they do. Exodus will continue.”

Four minutes later, a follow-up post appeared:

“And please help us welcome Exodus back to EXODUS! We are beyond stoked to have Exodus back ripping up the stage with us and Exodus is looking forward to crushing everything like only Exodus can.”

Gary Holt vs. Gary Holt

Among the many personnel shakeups, the most shocking came when Gary Holt was let go from Exodus by Gary Holt himself.

The updated press release clarified:

“Gary Holt has parted ways with Gary Holt. We thank Gary for his years fronting the band and all the killer music we made during that time. We wish him only the best in the future and much success with whatever it is that he does.”

However, before fans could even react and call each other “son” while arguing if Kirk Hammett will be returning, another post immediately followed:

“And please help us welcome Gary Holt back to EXODUS! We are beyond stoked to have Gary back ripping up the stage with us and he’s looking forward to crushing everything like only he can.”

Fans were left briefly confused, but most agreed that Exodus has never sounded tighter than in the 0.5 seconds between its demise and resurrection, leaving most fans to just call each other “Son” in the band’s Instagram comments.

“I looked at myself in the mirror and said, ‘Gary, it’s time to move on,’” Holt explained. “Next chapter begins, new record rolls along as planned and the beatings will continue.”