THE ZOMBIE WEDDING
In a heartwarming and slightly horrifying turn of events, a young couple from New Jersey has defied all odds—and common sense. They by decided to go through with their wedding during a full-blown zombie apocalypse. The bride, a radiant human with a love for adventure, and the groom, a charming zombie with a hunger for commitment (and brains), exchanged vows this past weekend in what can only be described as the wedding of the century—if you survive it.
“The Zombie Wedding,” is the talk of the undead and the living alike, Both families are doing their best to come together to celebrate this unique union. The groom’s family (all zombies now) seem to be taking it all in stride. But the bride’s family – well, they are struggling with the Zombies. They are fearful for their daughter – and themselves!
BRAIN SUBSTITUTES
The Zombies were fed “Brain Substitutes” to keep their Zombies (and their insatiable appetite for brains) at bay. However, tensions escalated when the humans’ behavior became more beastly than their undead counterparts. One aunt threatened to “put an end to this madness” while wielding a baseball bat. The Mayor of Vineland, NJ – where the wedding took place – decided to stay home for the wedding. He was last seen under his desk, shivering in fear.
As the ceremony progressed, things took a turn for the bizarre when the groom’s brain-deprived groomsmen began salivating over some of the bridesmaid’s brains. Chaos ensued as the zombies scrambled for a bite, leaving the bride to fend off her new in-laws. The bride, however, remained steadfast in her love, vowing to stand by her man—even if he occasionally tries to eat her brains.
WWN ON THE SCENE
The wild and wacky wedding in the full-blown Zombie apocalypse was covered by intrepid reporters (Frank Lake and Elsa Wolf) of Weekly World News. They had to dodge Zombie attacks and the bride’s out-of-control mother. But, as with all WWN reporters, they were as professional as always. They managed to capture the event in all its gruesome glory. As the night drew to a close and the guests shuffled back to their respective graves, one thing became abundantly clear: love might be blind, but it’s also a little brain-dead. But did they ever exchange their vows?!
The Zombie Wedding features a large ensemble cast that includes Cheri Oteri (Saturday Night Live), Seth Gilliam (The Walking Dead), Heather Matarazzo (Scream, Princess Diaries ), Kevin Chamberlin (Jessie), Siobhan Fallon Hogan (Men in Black ), Vincent Pastore (The Sopranos), Ajay Naidu (Office Space), and Micky Dolenz of The Monkees, among others.
‘The Zombie Wedding’ Exclusive Trailer – Horror-Comedy Launches ‘Weekly World News’ Movie Slate
Kudos to the bride for her dedication and quick thinking, but I’m not sure I’d want my in-laws constantly eyeing me as a snack. Here’s to love surviving even the most undead of challenges