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DORA GROWS UP

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FLORIDA COAST – A favorite of children everywhere, Dora the Explorer has been teaching Spanish on Nickelodeon for years. Now the channel has finally revealed teenage Dora, to disastrous results.

Dora has been on-air since 2000, when Nickelodeon first discovered her. Each episode consists of her happily exploring outside with her friend, Boots the Monkey, while teaching viewers basic Spanish. Dora’s show has been wildly popular, leading Nickelodeon to heavily promote the series.

But after almost 9 years, Dora has finally hit puberty and the network was forced to reveal the teenager to the world, with unfortunate results. Although they attempted to brighten the situation with fun new merchandise and the phrase “Dora Grows Up!”, audiences have not responded well.

A network insider told Weekly World News, “Frankly, it’s going badly. Dora has been uncooperative, to say the least. We give her cute, colorful clothing from Forever21, she wears black clothing with skull prints. We give her playful make-up and jewelry, she puts on black eyeliner and earrings with daggers on them.”

“Her abuela said Dora has moved into the basement and sulks all day while blasting ‘Nine Inches’.  I think she meant ‘Nine Inch Nails’…”

Even Boots the talking monkey is concerned. “She’s just not the same Dora! Map and I try to get her excited about exploring outside, but all she wants to do is talk about existential nihilism. I don’t even know what that is. She’s dragged poor Backpack into this too. Did you know he wrote GOD IS DEAD on himself?”

Boots began to cry and excused himself from the interview.

Nickelodeon has decided to air re-runs of “Dora the Explorer” for the next two years until Dora inevitably grows out of it.

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74 thoughts on “DORA GROWS UP”

  1. @Jessica: It's not a joke. T M Z has this story… EXCLUSIVE: Dora to join cast of HSM3. Also this… Dora's nude cellphone pics (Joe Jonas' email hacked) !NSFW!

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  2. you wouldn't want kids who are age 14 and under to look like that. do they even think about how that will affect young girls?

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  3. Yea Dorah grows up and becomes an Illegal Alien Mule transporting her cousins from TJ across the border with pounds of crack

    That would be a Kick@ZZ show

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  4. this is the reason young girls feel they have to grow up so fast!what kind of self esteem problems,and eating disorders will girls have now when they realize
    'forget the victoria's secret models but now they can't even compete with dora the explorer!girls shouldn't have to worry at such a young age how pretty or how sexy they are! it's bad enough that woman and teens are made to feel inadiquate if they aren't skinny and sexy,but now were going to subject tweens and toddlers to the same pressures.life is hard enough,let's let the tweens and toddlers enjoy being kids,before society forces them to sexualize themselves for fear of not being good enough!

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  5. If she actually looked like that I would be happy that show would rock…I'm a tween…And I think it'd be awesome…Not what some dumb parent thinks…I think it'd be really good

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    • You are so right she looks awesome! Some of my closest friends have been wearing makeup AND eyeliner since fourth grade and they are the nicest people you'd meet!
      Why do parents freak out when a girl under fiveteen weares eyeliner?!?!

      So to all you adults out there wereing eyeliner does NOT make someone gothic OR emo OR mean it jest means we don't get enough freedom and want to….Oh, how do you say it agian, oh yeah, Express themselvs!!!!

  6. this is not possible, cause if he would want the kids to be all evil , he wouldve done it a long time ago. so all of this is wrong, we just are not used to having a teen dora. you all say this because you think of now a days teens. yes they smoke,do pot, marijana and crap, and write suicide notes, and be all emo and stuff. but this dora is gonna be the same old innocent dora.

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  7. did u now this is not the real new dora ok she looks prettier that i wonder wat person made that picture that is bolony right there look up on youtube "Dora the teenager" i saw it on the news with my own eyes so ths all fake dont believe this crap

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  8. u people take these things way to serious its a tv show i can understand if u are a parent and worried about ur kid/s but if ur not get a life u dont need to get all pissy over somthing thos small look at other websites and get some facts

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  9. its photoshopped wow… the kids entertainment know that parents would revolt against such an image when society is already bogged down with sex and vulgar in the media already….be smarter than just assume and think logically….

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  10. oh piss off yall haters GOD first that ain't the real pic sum one just messed with it and no they should have this new grown up dora no one said that the little kids had to watch this new dora sow and some girls have their parents if they wanted tween girls to grow up fast they would have put her in a miniskirt a tubetop sum stalletos and big gaint hoop earring do yall see that on the real pic NO so BACK THE HELL UP AND STEP!!!(P.S: just for the haters and people who dont think this is a good idea.)

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  11. I think the new dora kicks ass. She looks awsome. I am goth to. She look sooooooooo cool. What i dont get is Dora picks what she wears? It is like she is alive. I mean they give her colthes and she wears black that is awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  12. What are people thinking i mean kids are to be kids playing with dolls and ponies not growing up and acting the total opposite how we taught them. I know one thing my new baby cousin will be 2 thats when DORA GROWS UP comes out and i promise she will NOT watch it.

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  13. wow. This stinks. Even if they do make dora grow up couldn't they atleast make here happy looking and look like a human being. Dora is not the type to act like this. Also, isn't writing God Is Dead on backpack offensive.

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  14. Dora shouldn't grow up.The children are more used to her being a kid.They will get confused,So I hope they will surely still consider the kid Dora.And maybe in the new Dora they'll make her lazier,And make her have big changes physically,mentally and socially.

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  15. You're all losers! Dora the Explorer is fine the way she is, leave her alone, i get told alot i look like dora and my nick-name is dora, you're giving her a bad name, it's not funny, it's plain immature, grow up, and get a life, waste your time on something that will earn you money not a bad repuation. I laugh at all your immature mockery of her, and for those people who think it's wrong to, thank-you

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  16. go teenage dora! She's so pretty! I LOVE HER! Im not crazy about the fact that she's losing boots…but whateverr

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  17. dora is way better little….i like boots backpack and that mad…..so if dora grows up will stop watching dora….because a little dora is better than a big dora……thanks

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  18. I know right that is very right. I have a 3yeared old cousin and REALLY likes dora and i bether mom wounldn't like to buy that stuff(she is spoiled)

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  19. wtf leave dora how she was she looks cuter wen she was fat and short leave her alone keep her short dumb net work people. why cant she stay young now thats why young girls want to look older and act more mature

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  20. This is isn't a real picture people! Stop worrying. This world has already crashed and burned! My the 2nd grade your kids will know what sex is! This is a good thing. If you see the REAL new age Dora you will know what I mean. This isn't bad. They are trying to attract more age groups. Especially for girls, this could help! They're going to start looking like this prett ysoon. They're gonna be wearing make-up having boyfriends and there isn't a single thing you can do about it! I'm 12 years old. I like the new Dora. Parents don't see anything through childrens eyes. 1st take a second and get in our shoes. HELL even i will start watching Dora. And if you dont like it you don't have to let your children watch this new Dora. But give her a chance. This is the real Dora. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63d7h5cPwTQ

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  21. how long do you her to say a kid let her grow up if she don't you well be telling your kid not to grow up and act like a 5 year old when thay are 25 year old

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  22. I perfectly agree. I am a fifteen year old girl, and I DO NOT think this is cool AT ALL. Putting this kinda up crap up for little kids is NOT right. I have a little sister who loves Dora, and I would not want her watching that. This is not right, and people need to realize what is good for little kids, and how its going to affect them. Little kids are very vulnerable. they believe everything they see on T.V. They have imaginations. Imagine what would get to their heads, when they realize at such a young age that they need to be pretty or skinny, to be 'loved' or 'accepted' ? They could potentially become just like any other teenager, except the difference is, age and knowledge. they could go to extreme lengths to look like Dora, and that's never positive. I am outraged by the fact people would even consider this! I am fifteen, and I know what this could do to young kids. This is RIDICULOUS.

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  23. Hi, Iam growing and I would like for Dore to grow with me.My name is Faith and Iam 5 and I always watch Dora,so I want her to grow up with me..Good luck Dora. Thanks FaithFaith

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  24. It's obvious that pic of dora was photoshopped, of course! the real dora is beautiful, so people need to shut up! Dora should grow up, not much though. And what some of you wrote about her, I agree with most of you, but some of you are stupid and immature and I can't believe most of you would think that picture was real!

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  25. i have seen teenage dora on comercials and she is not gothic she wears a purple dress with pink leggings no makeop and no earings just a flower necklace instead of the bracelet plus she doesnt have backpack anymore instead she has a orange purse so this article doesnt make any sence to me

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  26. it was only a matter of time for dora so all you kids out there stop crying and for the parents stop trying to change Nickelodeon's mind this was going to happen any way no matter how much you and your kids complain you cant change there mind so just give up all of you and just accept the fact that Dora will appeal to older kids instead of the yonglings ok

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  27. actually this is a GOOD thing for TEENS because before we didnt care about dora know that shes grown up like OUR AGE we actually care.I was shocked(in a good way) that dora was gonna be a grown,like we all go through PUBERTY so why shouldn't dora??

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  28. She doesnt look anything like the picture. Her new show is called "Dora's explorer girls", which you can find at nickjr.com. She doesnt look anything like that picture. Look it up and you will see.

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  29. This first page of comments alone terrifies me. So many people judging this… you clearly didn't bother to read the article, which includes an interview with Boots and talking Monkey. Not the real live person who does his voice… but Boots. As if he is real. It also talks about Nickelodeon trying to persuade Dora to change her ways. And, btw people, have you looked at the other parts of this site? Like… the alien section? Or the mascot?

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  30. I am really inspired along with your writing talents and also with the layout in your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself? Either way stay up the excellent high quality writing, it?s uncommon to look a great blog like this one nowadays..

    Reply

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