TIGER WOODS PAYS OFF MISTRESS

MIAMI, FL – Tiger Woods has paid his mistress so she would never admit to affair.  He used a series of fake charities to hide it from his wife.
In addition to his other, more well known mistresses, it appears Tiger Woods was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel.  Evidence confirms Tiger has paid Uchitel millions so she would never admit to it.  To hide this financial information from the public and his wife Tiger used a series of fake charities to give Uchitel the money.
The “Tiger Woods’ Little Achievers Foundation” has proven to be a bogus foundation.  According to SEC filings the organization has only given to one “child,” a Ms. Rachel Johnson, the amount of $1 million dollars for “achieving much by learning to stay quiet.”
“Tiger’s Kids” is another fake charity, who to date have only made one transaction.  The company has made one payment to a Ms. Rachel Smith for “Knowing not to speak out of turn, and being good to daddy.”
“Tiger’s Helping Hands for Those Who were Naughty” turned out to be a perfectly legitimate charity, which offers guidance for children in jail.
Dozens of other charities were used as fronts to “donate” money to Uchitel.  “Grown Up Girl Scouts of America,” “Big Sisters with Big Purses,” “The Hope and Pay for Peace Foundation,” and “Big Brothers helping Rachel Keep her Mouth Shut International.”
In total Uchitel is believed to have received nearly $3 million.  Sources close to Uchitel say that with her newfound wealth she looks forward to working on her tan and spending more time on Facebook.

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5 thoughts on “TIGER WOODS PAYS OFF MISTRESS”

  1. As sad as the whole Tiger Woods situation is, perhaps it might prompt us to re-evaluate the institution of marriage, and whether it is still a viable institution. Assuming, for purposes of argument, that there is no biological component associated with cheating, then simply examining the conduct of golfer Woods, Albert Einstein, Gov. Mark Sanford, Sen. John Edwards, Sen. John Ensign, inventor Henry Ford, Presidents Wilson, Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Kennedy, and Clinton, would strongly suggest that many do not respect the institution as presently constituted or evolved.
    The frequency with which infidelity occurs suggests a systemic problem. Society might consider starting a discussion about a modified or different institution to serve the functions previously served by marriage.

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