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SCHWARZENEGGER KNIFE VIDEO


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SACRAMENTO, CA – Governor Schwarzenegger appeared in a video brandishing a large knife and talking about “deep cuts” he will make to the state budget.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared in a Twitter video this week, brandishing a 2 foot knife.  He went on to describe the “deep cuts” he would have to make to the states budget.  Schwarzenegger appeared visibly frustrated from efforts to fix his state’s 24 Billion budget deficit.  His frustration was apparent in other metaphors he used.

He said he would be gouging out pork from the budget.  “Ripping it out with my bear hands if I have to.”

He says he will bleed his employees dry of any ideas to help balance the state budget.

State education, grades K through 12 public schools and community colleges, have had a total of 9 billion cut from their budget.  Schwarzenegger says “they are being put in a strangle hold, not because they are expendable but because they are important.  Now, with my hands around their neck and squeezing, it’s time to see what they will do.”

The Governor says he will place electrodes to the testicles of government programs, until they find more efficient ways to run.

At this point a very excited Schwarzenegger accidentally punched through his desk.  Immediately he regained his stately composure and led the camera to a different segment.

He further illustrated his point at a gun range with a target marked ‘DEBT’.  “I am taking aim at state debt, and I’ve got its beating black heart in my sights.”  He proceeded to unload his pistol at the target, screaming with increasing fury “I HATE YOU, BUDGET DEFICIT!  I HATE YOU!!”  When his gun was empty there was nothing left of the target but tatters, and the Governor took a minute to calm himself.  “Thank you for taking your time to hear about our plan to fix the state budget.  I’m Governor Schwarzenegger, have a great day.”

When questioned afterwards about the tone of his video statement, punching desks and waving a large knife, Schwarzenegger said, “Sometimes you have to wave a knife around, or better yet a sword, to let people know that budget cuts need to be made, and a leader is ready to lead you.”

Footage from this clip will be reedited and used as the basis for California’s new tourism campaign.