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EXTREME MAKEOVER: MANIGATOR EDITION


HOMESTEAD, FL – “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” was gracious enough to feature Manigator on last week’s episode. In usual form, Manigator was not gracious in return.

The TV show usually features a family that has faced some sort of recent or ongoing hardship. The host, Ty Pennington, had heard of Manigator’s troubled times, and hand-picked him for last Sunday’s show.

It was, of course, a disaster from the start. The episode began with Ty visiting Manigator in his shack on the edge of the Everglades National Park. Ty tearfully recounted Manigator’s lonely childhood as a freak of nature and his inability to keep a job due to discrimination; Manigator switched between nodding encouragingly and dozing off behind his sunglasses.

Unfortunately for Ty, any Weekly World News reader could have told him Manigator’s perpetual unemployment is due to his massive drinking problem and refusal to respect authority.

Manigator was then sent to Miami for a week while the construction crew began putting up his new house. He did not look at any of the progress videos that were sent to him, as he spent his entire trip at the Booby Trap “gentlemen’s club”.

Upon returning, Ty excitedly showed him the new house. Manigator went completely silent and stared unmoving at the building. He finally waddled over and expressed his displeasure by urinating on the front door, before fleeing into the swamps with a screaming Ty in tow.

The house has since been given to a vampire family with a disabled child who lacks fangs.