WASHINGTON, DC – A message intercepted by NASA’s Pioneer 10 has been leaked, exposing a horrifying invasion that’s been going on for centuries… madmen, murderers and tyrants from other worlds are being dumped on Earth!
And experts claim that most if not all of history’s vilest villains – Attila the Hun, Jack the Ripper, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Jeffrey Dahmer, Osama bin Laden to name a few – came to Earth as criminal exiles from another solar system.
“Alien beings have been doing for hundreds of years exactly what Fidel Castro did in 1980,” declared a U.S. Justice Department official who commented on the condition he not be identified.
“Castro cleaned out his prisons and asylums and sent all his criminals and nut cases to America in the so-called Freedom Boatlift. The only difference is that the space thugs are being dumped all over our planet.
“It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Castro himself is proven to be a space alien, because he probably got the boatlift idea from his home planet!”
The alien message was relayed in 2002 to a Deep Space Network (DSN) monitoring facility in Madrid, Spain, after being intercepted by Pioneer 10, the first craft to leave our solar system and journey into deep space. The message was one of the last to be received before the spacecraft went out of range, however it was kept top-secret until now.
“The transmission actually lists the dates when an exile was brought to Earth,” explained Dr. Larisa Atkov, a professor of history at Moscow University.
“I was amazed to find that the dates coincide more or less with the rise of certain individuals who became noted for their brutality and savagery. For example, an alien was exiled to Europe on Earth date 406 A.D., the same year that Attila the Hun is believed to have been born.
“On Earth date 1889, an alien was exiled to Austria… the same date and place where the madman Adolf Hitler was born. I was able to make the same comparison with each of the most infamous monster of history.
French geneticist Paul Perrault, a leader in clone research, said the alien exiles undoubtedly have the ability to transform themselves into human-like males or females.
“They apparently can change their outward appearance at will,” he explained. “But they’re unable to alter their evil personalities.
“The world looks at Milwaukee cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer as some kind of inhuman savage because he consumed his murder victims. Well, now we know the truth… he IS inhuman. He’s an exiled space alien.
“There will be others brought to Earth. Every time a UFO is sighted, it’s probably bringing another madman into our lives. All we can hope and pray for is that someday we will find a way to stop them.”
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July 11th, 2009 at 2:32 am
That's how Comrade Obama got here
July 11th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Ned, you're a fool.
July 11th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
There is no solid evidence that aliens were associated with evil dictators. Another flaw in the story is the fact that there is no comment from any alien whatsoever!!
July 11th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
jerk! hahahahahaha
July 11th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
wats this noncence sum poor individual has wrote
" get out and socialize "
absoloutly perfetik…..
July 11th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I think…
this is bullShiT
July 11th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
haha.nice one.the best joke i ever heard.hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhhahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahaha
July 11th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
lol, you have not been paying attention, and yes an evil group of aliens have been taking over our world for thousands of years, and our freedom will come within a couple of years
July 11th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
yep, thats how
July 12th, 2009 at 4:08 am
But the good thing is, they cannot have children, like mules.Otherwise we would have had a planet full with stupid people allready
July 12th, 2009 at 10:04 am
APRIL FOOLS!
July 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
This would be funny, had it not been stolen from the mind of Harlan Ellison, who wrote a short story in his collection "Strange Wine" about this exact subject. Weekly World News needs to give credit where credit is due. This is not an original idea.
July 12th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I love Weekly World News. They have all these weird alien stories. And for some reason all the aliens look the same. Must be a pretty monotonous universe.
July 12th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
aliens arent true
July 13th, 2009 at 2:42 am
what have 'aliens' done that is soo bad?
July 13th, 2009 at 3:09 am
hahahaha i have to admit it, this one made me laugh
July 13th, 2009 at 3:10 am
hahaha this one madfe me laugh
July 13th, 2009 at 3:12 am
hahahahahahahah this one made me laugh
July 13th, 2009 at 3:24 am
ahhahhha
July 13th, 2009 at 5:42 am
i don beliv tiz….
Not even a gud joke…….
July 13th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
This "News" website is just desperate….
Absurb to down right Stupidity. – this plc shld be banned for peace of a sane mind. =]
July 14th, 2009 at 2:12 am
duh aliens maby dont want to talk cause there trying to keep secret from the human race that way we dnt know there aliens and dont shoot them,… there smart why u think they hav such big heads?
July 14th, 2009 at 2:17 am
Al Gore! This article explains it all! Since the utterance of the words "global warming" I knew it had to be alien created and they inserted their spokes person to head the cause. No friggin way would any sane human being back something like "global warming" and win a Nobel Prize to boot. Down with the aliens and their idiotic schemes! We need to concentrate on blowing up the Death Star. Go Luke, go!
August 6th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
interesting
August 12th, 2009 at 4:33 am
ok im new to this i just got this computer still learning
August 12th, 2009 at 4:52 am
the reason russians never released autopsy report on hitler was that when they studied his body shocked to find he was not human but alien most leading nazis were aliens himmler goebbels borman ley streicer if you look at their faces they all looked odd himmler strange eyes goebbels lizard shaped head etc
August 15th, 2009 at 12:32 am
we're fighting terrorist aliens in Iraq
August 16th, 2009 at 8:46 am
I think its true. Aliens are shapeshifters. They dont want us to see their true physical origin, ofcoz we will be able to distinguish them, so they take our form and operate in instilling fear. If you not fearing man only fear God they will do nothing to you. They live like reptiles they don't have sence of love and warmth to other people.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:10 am
dude alians r real. i dont think they r bad i think they r actually really really good and it is obviouse that the goverment is covering them up but we know what we see i was a sceptic and then, tonight i saw one, and it was like a beam of light comeing down from the sky and then all around my state there were more and more sightings with in houres.