PARIS – Scientists examining the remains of Napoleon Bonaparte admit they are “deeply puzzled” by the discovery of a half-inch long microchip embedded in his skull.
They say the mysterious object could be an alien implant – suggesting that the French emperor was once abducted by a UFO!
“The possible ramifications of this discovery are almost too enormous to comprehend,” declared Dr. Andre Dubois, who made the astonishing revelation in a French medical journal.
“Until now, every indication has been that victims of alien abduction are ordinary people who play no role in world events.
“Now we have compelling evidence that extraterrestrials acted in the past to influence human history – and may continue to do so!”
Dr. Dubois made the amazing find while studying Napoleon’s exhumed skeleton on a $140,000 grant from the French government.
“I was hoping to learn whether he suffered from a pituitary disorder that contributed to his small stature,” he explained.
But instead the researcher found something far more extraordinary: “As I examined the interior of the skull, my hand brushed across a tiny protrusion.
“I then looked at the area under a magnifying glass – and was stunned to find that the object was some kind of super-advanced microchip.”
From the extent of bone growth around the chip, the expert believes it was implanted when Bonaparte was young.
“Napoleon vanished from sight for a period of several days in July 1794, when he was 25. He later claimed he’d been held prisoner during the Themidorian coup – but no record of that arrest exists. I believe that is when the abduction took place.”
From that time on, Napoleon’s rise was meteoric. By the next year, he’d been put in charge of the French army in Italy.
Miraculously, he was able to transform starving, rag-tag troops into a top-notch fighting force and to crush the Italians.
In 1804, after a string of startling victories, the pint-size general crowned himself emperor of France – and his empire soon expanded to include what is now Germany and Austria, as well as Switzerland, Italy and Denmark.
“Napoleon used military strategies more than a hundred years ahead of his time,” said Dr. Dubois. “Perhaps the implant somehow enhanced his abilities.”
The implant could also explain Napoleon’s famous habit of holding his hand over his heart, he added.
“It’s possible that the device affected the electrical signals from his brain to his heart.”
By the time of his defeat by the British at Waterloo in 1815, Napoleon had altered the face of Europe.
“What Western history would have been like had the aliens not intervened, we can only guess,” observed Dr. Dubois. “Thus we cannot know whether they acted to help mankind or harm us.”
WWN Shop
January 20th, 2010 at 7:00 am
I had this too. UFO took me up to space and raped me.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Looks just like the Chip that's in my cat's neck. Maybe it was implanted in case Napoleon got lost?
January 20th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Why can't the news ever get it right?
Why are we never told what happened to the implant, where is it now?
How was it determined that it was an advanced microchip? Electron microscope analysis ?? What's it made of? what tests is it undergoing?? Geesh
And we'll never hear a thing about again.
Thanks for the tease
January 21st, 2010 at 12:56 am
We'll never here about it again because it's a crock.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:05 am
pure bullshit, can't believe i wasted my time looking for this
January 21st, 2010 at 4:47 pm
maybe bin laden has this chip on his d&ck that's why he can't get caught!
January 21st, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Hmmm, Looks suspicious to me. I think my cat has one of these. http://www.thetruthorthefight.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/microchip_5.jpg
I suspect the one here may have fallen out of the nose of some anthropological freshman.
January 23rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm
The real story is that Napoleon was a robot from an advanced civilization. But now that we've got you thinking he merely had a chip implanted, we have you chasing after wild gooses, as you say. .
January 24th, 2010 at 5:00 am
The photograph says an alien chip but its just an RFI tag
<radio frequency identification>
Used for storing data or for tracking some animals
RFI tags are man made
If Aliens have a desire and ability to influence history at will
I think their alien tag is not be as primitive as an RFI tag
A tag that would have the goal of developing the recipients abilities
would be biological in nature and appearance, and it would
be hard for humans to distinguish from a part of their own body
A very long history of Aliens study of the Human anatomy would make this
scenario possible
Above all it must be realised that the goal of any alien society or societies interested in Earth
must be research, development, protection, mutual understanding, acceptance and peace
Aliens do not put man made RFI tags in humans
February 2nd, 2010 at 8:44 pm
And finally, the Cracker Jack box this guy got his degree from. Give me a break.
February 12th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
He wasn't abducted! He's the real life James Cole!! AhhhH!!!!!!!
February 14th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
They found the same chip in the skull of Jesus, a couple of years ago according to Dr. Madeup Bullshitsien, a could of years ago.
February 15th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
they put the picture of the rfid tag on here for journalistic purposes. I don´t think it´s an original photo.
February 15th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
and you loved it
February 15th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
HAHAHAHHAHAHA news magazine for idiots..
February 19th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I found one in my anus oops its just rice nvm
February 22nd, 2010 at 2:22 am
journalistic purposes…good one
February 23rd, 2010 at 9:07 am
Show us the super advanced micro chip in detail.
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Are you sure it wasn't sweetcorn
February 26th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
what if it was actually a booger dudes? hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa
March 7th, 2010 at 10:29 am
fakin fake
April 30th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
ur retarted and ur face is made of gay
May 14th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
There is as well our etheric body which is multi-dimensional it has already its own blueprint pattern as well. The more we develop spiritually and lift our soul's consciousness onto those higher planes. then our light frequencies and vibrations change.Communicating with higher intelligences from other dimensions can become easier, including our telepathic abilities to tune into other frequencies.
May 14th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
There is the etheric body as well which is multi-dimensional with its own blueprint and code.When we develop spiritually we can lift our soul's consciousness onto higher planes and dimensions.The more light we bring in we change our vibrations and frequencies;therefore we can communicate with higher intelligences and cosmic beings.
May 14th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
There is the etheric body which has its own blueprint and code,it is multi-dimensional.When we elevate our soul's consciousness onto higher planes by our spiritual development. Then we can bring in more light and vibrate on higher frequencies.By doing this we can tune in to higher intelligences and cosmic beings.As well we can hone in our telepathic abilties which goes beyond our physical five senses.
May 14th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
There is also the etheric body which is multi-dimensional with its own genetic code.As we grow spiritually and increase our light body and vibrations we can elevate our soul's consciousness onto a higher plane.It is in these dimensions where we can tune in to other higher intelligences and cosmic beings.Beyond our physical senses we can learn to communicate to give and recieve information from the multi dimensional universes.
June 21st, 2010 at 10:13 am
this is the weekly world news. its all fake! just enjoy it!
July 10th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
curiously, thanks, nice post..!