Doomscrolling your life away! People, get it together!
At least there’s one reader who knows partying ain’t just for the weekends.
editor@weeklyworldnews.com if you want REAL answers.
If you want some phony baloney, call a therapist.
HOLY WAR?
Dear Dotti,
I’m a typical stressed-out mom. One day, I got so overwhelmed trying to do everything that I made a deal – with the devil. Now, I can stop time. I thought this would finally help me get things done! But I spend the extra six hours scrolling on my phone until I’m running late for school pickups! How do I turn this around?
–– What’s The Deal With Me?
Dear Devil-Dealer,
Contracts are all about the fine print. Did you READ the deal you made, or did you just scroll and DocuSign? Upside, you got the six hours; downside, it can only be used for procrastination. A good contract means both sides don’t get something they want. You want out? Lawyer up, ‘cause the Devil doesn’t like to break his contracts. You’ve got a holy war ahead.
–– Dotti.
WEEKDAY PARTY TIME
Dear Dotti,
I’m a Monday-partier. First day of the workweek has a different vibe, and I’m all about it. This annoys my friends because they work all week and party Friday to Sunday. Do I have to change, or should they loosen up?
—Mondays Don’t Get Me Down
Dear Mondays,
I’ve been waiting for this letter since 1981. And here is the answer: in a study that backs my long-held conviction, sociologists have discovered that not everybody is working for the weekend.
––Dotti
NEIGHBOR ROCKING
Dear Dotti,
My neighbor keeps parking in front of my house! I have to look at their stupid dented car every day as I rock back and forth on my porch, waiting for someone to step on my lawn. How do I get this jerk to park in front of his own house?
— signed, ANGRY!
Dear Angry,
Take your rocking chair and put it in the parking spot. That way, the next time your neighbor exercises their God-given right to park on the street, your rocking chair will get smashed into pieces.
— Dotti
Toodaloo ‘till next week.
