ROSWELL, NM – “Since that thing returned, it’s been one terrifying encounter after another,” said Col. Mike Andrews. “Most of our test pilots are requesting transfers and the civilian contractors are refusing to come to work.”
‘That thing,’ according to Col. Andrews, is the ghost of an ET who died sixty-two years ago.
As readers of Weekly World News are aware, in the summer of 1947 a UFO crashed northwest of Roswell, NM. The military acted quickly to recover the wreckage. Along with three small, otherwordly bodies recovered at the scene, it was flown to various government installations. Despite a military cover story that was concocted to explain away the event, witnesses insist that it was a flying saucer and that an autopsy on one of the space men was conducted at Roswell.
Nor further visitations occurred in the decades following the crash. That changed this year.
“That saucer man is back,” said Col. Andrews with a shudder, “though not in any way we ever anticipated.
“This time, he’s a ghost!”
Described as short with an oversized head, the unearthly being floats from room to room, passing through walls and ceilings as if they weren’t there. Work at the base has all but shut down as manpower has dwindled to a skeleton crew, though not everyone fears the eerie visitor.
“I don’t think he means any harm,” stated Gus Rolf, a midnight-shift cook. “In fact, he came in and helped me peel potatoes one night and sorta zig-zagged out the door just before daylight. We tried to strike up a conversation, but he don’t speak English and I don’t speak Martian, or whatever lingo he was chirpin’ in.”
The prevailing theory is that the ET ghost continues to be angry about having been poked, prodded and cut open during the medical exam.
“He has returned now because the alignment of the planets is identical to the way it was when the saucer crashed,” opined Walt Shelstad, a UFO investigator. “I believe he’s searching for the people who abused him. Like so many spirits, without closure he cannot return to his corner of the sky, to a proper alien afterlife. I believe he’ll leave when the planets change their positions.”
“I hope so,” said Col. Andrews. “Nobody things church rites will work on an ET, but I still may call in an exorcist. I don’t know what else to do.”
Until a solution is found, the base remains relatively deserted. “In every sense of the word, this place is a ghost town,” said Col. Andrews.

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  1. Wait a minute. Leopards are an earth animal. How could he have leopard speedos? I think that maybe this whole thing is a conspiracy by the government. They messed up when they used the leopard speedos. . I don't think the alien ghost appeared at Roswell. How do we know that aliens even have ghosts?.A nd peel potatoes? Everyone knows that aliens can't stand potatoes.

  2. Man I would love to get a job writing for this rag. Smoke some weed and then write whatever pops into your head. Anything flies on this magazine. Also he sorta looks like Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars.

  3. Too bad the little guy doesn't know about energy saving light bulbs – turn one on while he's in the room and he disappears.
    I have to agree with diddy – those speedos are cool !!

  4. Looks photoshopped? lol The tiles in the close up pic are Smaller than the tiles in the zoomed out photo. But, even i'll admit, it was nice of the ghost a couple weeks ago to show up during what looks to be a "saucer photoshoot." That must have been a handy for the Colonel (the one wearing the 1950's military hat) to make sure they got some quick pics.
    And I'm jealous. The flying saucer I bought last week casts a shadow. That one in the photo doesn't. Lame, yet another example of the military keeping all the best technology for themselves…

  5. I think the little guy is quite cute but common there has obviously been some photoshop work done here to "cutesify" him. I see the trend for oversized heads continues.Maybe in centuries to come hotties will have much bigger domes!!!

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