HOLBROOK, AZ – A group of 21 aliens has taken refuge in the heart of the Petrified Forest National Park – and they’re asking President Obama for asylum!
“They came to Earth to escape religious persecution on their own planet,” says attorney Betty Montrose, who represents the extraterrestrial immigrants. “And they’ve settled here in America because of our reputation as the ‘great melting pot.’
“Although their technology is light-years ahead of our own, the government on their home planet is tyrannical and cruel. They’ve come hoping to build a new life here in the land of the free.
“And I’m acting as their counsel. So far we’ve had two visits with President Obama, but nothing has been decided yet.”
Mrs. Montrose, who retired from her law practice and moved here in 2003, will not reveal the exact location where the aliens wait, hoping against hope that the government will grant them political asylum. But their settlement is somewhere in the Petrified Forest, north of the Zuni Indian Reservation.
Mrs. Montrose is determined to win them the right to stay here. But she’s not without her critics.
“We have enough freeloaders flooding the borders,” says one Arizona state official.
“Why should hardworking Americans be asked to pick up the tab for yet another group of maladjusted outsiders?”
But Mrs. Montrose calls the criticisms unfair and biased. “These beings are intelligent, well-behaved and law-aiding,” the lawyer told reporters. “And unlike some others who are seeking citizenship, they speak perfect English.”
Some experts foresee serious psychological problems for the refugees themselves if Obama okays their request.
“The difficulties of integrating themselves into our culture will put great stress on them,” says a therapist who has interviewed the alien delegation. “Their entire lives have been spent in a totally different world. It will take them five or six generations to adapt.”
President Obama has not commented on the situation. But Washington sources expect a decision by early January.
Wait a minute. How could aliens live in the petrified forest? Isn't that a place with fallen over rock-trees? What could they be living on out there? Rocks? If they can live on rocks, then they won't need to have jobs. They can just eat our regular rocks. Except if they become too numerous, and eat all our rocks, which would not be good. We would have to declare them a hazard to the earth, and then Al Gore could make a movie called "An inconvenient Alien". And then Obama could make a "cap and trade an alien" law, outlawing them. Back to their home planet they go! You see how these simple things quickly become complicated.
Although I look forward to welcoming these space refugees into our neighborhoods, I think that the rules should be made clear to them before they get any wrong ideas or get into bad habits. There should be no psychological or biological testing on neighbors, no "tricks" to suspend our laws of physics and NO spaceship departures or landings after 9 PM.
OK, that's it! I'm moving to Arizona !! I think I can help our new friends assimalate. Now is a pretty messed up time here in the State's, but we can learn from each other. Wonder if 'Liz Taylor 'could come hang out?
Does Lou Dobbs know about this?
the government on their home planet is tyrannical and cruel. Boy have they come to the wrong place. I tried to warn them.
I think they should be granted asylym. They coupd help us a lot
R U ALL OUT OF YOUR MINDS THIS SOUNDS EXTREMELY STUPID!!!! IF U BELEAVE THIS I HAVE ALIEN POO FOR SALE ANY BUYERS??
Frank, why would we need to buy what you're selling? With so many aliens wandering around my neighborhood, I can easily find that in the streets. And really, they are terrible about losing stuff and cleaning up after themselves. I should open a museum or something.
Unless the aliens are willing to put some sort of deposit down towards their stay here then they need to go. An immediate requirement would be total disclosure of whatever technology that they may possess. If they have nothing to offer then there is no value to allowing them to remain.
id welcome them with open arms there knowledge would be valueble and very helpfull to mankind , our space brothers
Aren't all space aliens illegal?