STRANGE TAKEOUT

NEW YORK — Last week, popular Chinese restaurant Wu’s Diamond Garden received a strange call from outside of their delivery area… way outside.
“They ordered 30 quarts of Clams and Loofa Soup, 20 Fried Wontons, 50 orders of Fishy in Scallion Sauce, and a carton of white rice,” said Diamond Garden employee Joy Luk.
“Then they asked us to deliver it to Lunar Base Beta on the Moon’s far side, apartment number 20000023. I assumed it was someone playing a joke and hung up.”
However, a half hour later there was a deafening noise in the parking lot be- hind the restaurant. Luk went outside to investigate and got the surprise of her life. “A small spaceship landed in the parking
lot, flattening some garbage cans and my Camry,” said Luk. “The door slid open and a small alien with large oval eyes emerged.”

The extraterrestrial apologized for the unusual phone call, and the dam- age, and explained that he was part of a Martian settlement on our Moon. His people had sampled Chinese food while visiting Earth and brought back leftovers, which had run out. Fortunately, they had a menu and wanted us to deliver.
“I explained to the Martian that we couldn’t deliver to the moon, that Earth didn’t have the technology,” said Luk. “Besides, we couldn’t afford to have one of our delivery people away for so long.”
The Martian had a simple solution: He offered Luk a mini spacecraft to make the deliveries.
“He said the two-ion driver was easy to fly and would make the round trip in under an hour,” Luk said. “He also said we could use the ship for our other deliveries the rest of the time. I agreed to his terms.”
When asked why she didn’t simply open a restaurant on the moon, she re- plied, “I wouldn’t run a place with no atmosphere.”
WWN requested a follow-up story, but Luk was unavailable for comment. Owner Wu claimed to “not know what we were talking about,” and to “please not come here anymore.”