16-year-old Sidd Finch Jr., the son of the former NY Mets prospect, is the real thing. He’s been spotted working out with rehabbing Mets star pitcher Noah Syndergaard in Port St. Lucie, Florida. “He’s a beast! He’s only 16 and he’s still learning how to pitch. Everyone here is afraid to catch him!” Said Syndergaard aka Thor.
“I can throw 100 MPH, but ‘Finchie’ is embarrassing me here.”
Mets President Sandy Alderson tried to deny that young Finch Jr. was secretly signed to a contract last week. “I’ve been negotiating with his dad who’s acting as his agent. But the talks are going nowhere. He’s insisting on $1B in Bitcoin. I’m 73 years old, so I’m not even sure what that is.”
GOAT OR G.O.A.T.?
His father is Sidd Finch Sr. who was famously featured in the April 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated. Everyone thought he would become the Greatest Of All Time since his fastball was clocked at a record-breaking 168 MPH. But he was ousted by Major League Baseball after a serious scandal broke out.
Finch Sr., who was a goat-herding Tibetan Monk was allegedly getting too friendly with the goats after helping promote the international “Goat Yoga” craze. He’s still embittered and adamantly denies all the allegations.
“There was absolutely no ‘kidding’ around with young goats! That sick rumor was spread by the crosstown rival NY Yankees! Just because our cultures are different doesn’t give anyone a right to judge me! Goats only live to be 20 years, so a 10-year old goat is middle-aged and of consenting age,”
]He told Weekly World News, “My son Junior is destined to go on and have the MLB career they stole from me!”
What Do The MLB Scouts See?
Not Much!
Tyler Wilkes, the legendary NY Mets expert and co-founder of the viral podcast “Mets Maniacs” (@MetsManiacsPod ) told Weekly World News, “He’s an absolute freak! I say give this kid whatever the hell he wants. It’s like his arm is made of rubber. He can probably pitch 9 innings every day!”
A few professional baseball scouts who’ve had a chance to see Finchie Jr. throw in person haven’t been able to see much. “We can hear how fast he’s throwing, but the truth is we just can’t see the ball,” said Red Murff, Jr. whose dad discovered Hall of Fame flamethrower Nolan Ryan back in the 1960s.
“We ask him about his pitching but all he wants to talk about is his hitting – which stinks. Evidently, he’s obsessed with becoming the next Babe Ruth and wants to be a home run hitter.
“Assuming the Mets can even find a catcher to handle my fastball, I know I can easily strike out 27 batters in a row every time. But honestly, I find that boring” Finchie Jr. said. “I’ll only pitch if they let me play shortstop the other games.”
Sources say his hitting and fielding are atrocious and he will never make it as a full-time player.
Stay tuned for more updates on Sidd Finch, Jr. as they develop. Weekly World News Sports is always on the ball!
a modern day flame thrower