HONOLULU, HI – North Korea plans to fire a missile towards Hawaii. Hawaii responded by offering Kim Jong Il a role in a 1960’s style beach movie.
Pyongyang said earlier this week that it planned to launch a multi-stage ballistic missile towards Hawaii. This show of force comes in retaliation for imposed UN sanctions. The US is already preparing defensive measures.
In an effort to sidestep an international conflict, Hawaii has offered Kim Jong Il the opportunity to star in a 60’s style beach movie musical. Officials within the state of Hawaii say they hope to succeed where the UN has failed.
Sources within the State Department confirm that Kim Jong Il is being offered a role originally intended for Zac Efron. Vanessa Hudgens is still attached as the female romantic lead.
Playing to both his love of cinema and his desire to be a pop star, Kim is said to be flattered and strongly considering the deal. Currently, Kim is slated to not only star in the film as Danny, the isolated lovelorn rebel who just can’t seem to fit in, but he will also be writing all the music.
Negotiations have stalled over whether or not Kim Jong Il will also be allowed to choreograph the dance numbers. North Korea’s dictator is infamously sensitive about his choreography, having once sent an entire theater full of people to prison for not enjoying his one-man version of Cats.
If an decision cannot be agreed upon the deal may fall through and North Korea will proceed with the ballistic missile launch.
If North Korea actuallly did fire a missile at Hawaii, it would have been nuked out of existance.