UPDATE: It has leaked that North Korea may fire a missile at Hawaii in early July. Is this the beginning of their invasion?
Japanese newspapers are reporting that North Korea may launch a Taepodong-2, with a range of up to 4,000 miles, from North Korea’s Dongchang-ni site on the northwestern coast. It would occur between July 4 and July 8.
This would probably be only a scare tactic, as the missile’s capable distance is 500 miles too short to reach the Hawaiian islands. However, South Korea would be easily reachable, and the launch may scare South Koreans into defecting, as laid out in proposed scheme below.
Will North Korea actually begin their crazy plan to take the United States?
June 12, 2009
PYONGYANG – Crafty dictator Kim Jong Il plans to conquer the United States of America in three easy steps without launching a single missile.
An although the scheme may sound absurd, it’s so crazy it just might work!
That is the chilling warning of a Japanese computer-science whiz who downloaded the detailed 42-page plan, complete with maps and timetables, after hacking into the North Korean spy agency – known officially as the Liaison Bureau of the Korean Workers Party – in early May.
The University of Tokyo grad student says he decided to expose the plan in Weekly World News only after his efforts to reveal them were squashed by the White House and mainstream U.S. publications.
“President Obama is trying to keep the focus on peaceful talks, but this seemingly preposterous threat is very real,” says the hacker, who identified himself only by his first name, Hiroshi, in an exclusive WWN interview.
“Kim Jong Il is crazy like a fox. He knows that in a nuclear confrontation with the U.S., he’d be creamed. That’s why he’s distracting us with his empty threats while going low-tech and attacking America by the last means anyone would expected – with boats.”
Here, according to the hacker, is the bizarre North Korean scheme:
PHASE ONE: “OPERATION ALOHA”
While U.S. troops are busy subduing Iraq, North Korea takes advantage of the situation by declaring that unless South Korea agrees to immediate reunification, it will launch a nuclear strike.
Terrified refugees fearing a nuclear holocaust on the Korean peninsula flee in flimsy wooden sailboats known as junks. Thousands of boats, packed to capacity, converge on the Hawaiian islands.
For humanitarian reasons, the U.S. Navy stops try to curtail the wave after the first hundred boatloads of ragged refugees. But the rest are packed with 800,000 well-armed North Korean troops who swarm out of the junks and seize control of Hawaii in a well-timed operation known as K-Day.
Within a matter of hours, America is down to just 49 states and North Korea has its first colony.
That just might work.
If the timescale were shorter I'd find some shred of believability in it. America sitting back for 4 years whilst the west is occupied? And then waiting another 18? Actually considering the duration of the Iraq war…
Hahahaha
Funny plan.
I think they would notice the troops. Plus NK would not be able to keep it's gains.
Reminds me of trench warfare in WWI.
LOL! Damn it's been days since I've had a good laugh 😀
I'm sorry but that's stupid. (typical of a guy named (ill) What you don't know is that South Korea, and Japan, are better armed than North Korea, and that both Japan and South Korea are now allies against North Korea. Moreover, South Korea has more military fighting ships (Destroyers) than North Korea, more army garrisons, and an elite air force, and this is the reason why a war has not begun between them already. I do admit that the only advantage that North Korea appears to have is Nuclear capability; and I will predict that a cyber attack on the USA will happen (from China) and the (USSR) ; however, South Korea has become a true power to contend with, and Kim Jong IL (mentally ill) is envious at the progress of South Korea, and needs to attack and take the resources of South Korea. This time N. Korea will fail.
Dumb ass. North Korea has not only more nuclear weapons than the South, but many more troops than US, South and Japan combined could send. South Korea is not a legitimate government but an American installed government. Japan is within very close striking distance and will not get involved. China would assist the North should the South and the US retaliate.
:))
Enjoyed a good laughter, and all this paranoid people posting comments about this fantasy situation with cold facts, just made it better. Keep it up
the funny thing is these guys goin' crazy like it was real 😀
hahahah ok first off this is a great LAUGH!
Second Freedom of the press…
Thrid being a long time reader of this newspaper when it was in PRINT!!! If anyone ever beleive this they should just start to line up at the looney bin…
Heck..People who still beleive in Elivs DONT and I repeat DONT beleive in this stuff..Its a great laugh! Thats all nothing more nothing less..
actually I think alot of people are jelous for NOT thinking this stuff up to make a living..I mean come on now LoL..What better way to make a living than making stuff up and then writing it on a web sight in your underwear on your home computer and then watch the money and the insults come flying in….Dang IM in the wrong business LoL
What are you talking about? I've never heard more of an UnAmerican rant as the one you gave. This is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story and WNN is proof that real journalism and the 1-st Ammendment is alive & well & still kickin', in America.
Satire is an art wasted on the tweetwits and blogarithm neoconoclasts.
ALl i can say if that was to ever , ever happen, North Korea would be the one that would be read about in history books there wouldnt be nothing left of it…lol
I'm going to start brushing up on my Korean just in case. This plan seems totally plausible. I'm going to go ahead with ninjitsu classes so that when the Warlords take over the West I'll be poised to become a foot soldier and can move easily up the ranks to a Warlord henchman! Maybe the price of a Hawaiian vacation will go way, way down and I can actually afford to visit.
That si just not going to work because after they invade Hawaii the US will bring back their soldiers and take back Hawaii.
obamas just likea every other president before him…a muppet. you think hes in control…no no, he has his bosses. we are all under control,some of us think we know the extent of it but we never will.were all blind to whats really happening.
ya ll know this is all made up right? It a satire (to define it define it loosely)
why ya'll fighting over a "joke"
ya um 800,000 troops in "junks" i don't think so
Why would South Korean refugees in junks end up all the way in Hawaii when there are many closer, safer places to flee by boat to — Russia, China, Japan, Taiwan. Hawaii? The islands are thousands of miles away.
This is funny. Funny, because it would be impossible to take over the west coast. How do they figure they could over run our military and police, let alone the citizens of US who would take up arms to defend their country? Two million Korean fighters meet 100 million armed civilians armed with military support. Like I said, Funny, Very Funny! LOL.
What Resistance are you talking about?. You mean the thousands of legal and illegal Mexicans,that hate our country and our asses! and would probably help North Korea if they could get a gun.Common armed criminal street elements, street gang members with loyalty to who? and a few thousand looting blacks running out of Wal-Mart with flat screens to hinder the police to form a resistance.Remember Katrina? And you have so called "rag tag" militias, deer hunters, WOGs, retired military, and what active military?,the ones that are currently policing the middle east and spread thin all over the world. A lot of your 100 Million armed civilians about 1/3 or more have no gun training. Many civilians have guns illegal as they cannot pass a background check so they scared to practice shooting it. These people are more danger to themselves and neighbors.You cannot turn the fools in our society into fighting men overnight, this aint the movies.
North Korea couldn't fight it's way out of a wet paper bag. What makes them think that they can take on the USA?
Andrew you speak as if USA is the superior Military of the World lol.. The times have changed my friend. America is not the Super Power they once was, Once Upon A Time…
Do you know that for sure Andrew. A rag tag bunch of rebels kicked Russia's ass.
Local Hawaiians would slaughter a North Korean invasion force of any size.
South Korea could take North Korea in a quick and decisive manner. North Korea is a buzzing mosquito compared to South Korean military strength, and would be swatted away quickly if they are foolish enough to continue to pursue military aggression against South Korea.
I love the commitment this publisher has made towards writing the most absurd articles on the planet.
Comedy Gold!
there is no way they can take the usa we can all fight theres no way ill let so dick take over my land im ready what our army and so on cant get the small guys will this guy is nutts and it will be a small guy like me thast puts a gun to this dicks head!
Uttur bull.Firstly america may be a bit slow but they arent completly stupid and the civilians have more weapons then the acual army so it wouldnt work that well.
Also they forgot to mention the fact that America has pretty much all of Europe, Russia and most importantly the ANZACs. (Sure they dont have many people but they fight hard and dont give up.)
lololol is this guy stupid or crazy? does he know that USA is 10TIMES stronger and bigger then Nkorea? dude we could waste em in 1 year and the next thing you see there is no Nkorea its just…Korea anyway this made me laugh im like "yeah….right good luck"
If someone told you that in year 2000. Less than 20 unarmed men from Saudi Arabia would live among us and successfully carry out a plan to destroy two of our tallest buildings in America and change our country forever that also would have sounded like as you say " a bunch of Bull".But as we all know now.The bulls are running wild nowadays.Maybe we should listen to the reliable AND unreliable sources and give them equal weight..Jonah
NO!! NO!! NO!! first of S.Korea hates N,KOREA! 2nd they couldnt take Pearl Harbor west coast etc. the war would last 3 months!american victory!!. kmon im 13 an i know that! ps. an dare them to try to mess with South! us southern people wouldnt take no sh** from them
You're babbling.
umm there attacking with the russians. the attack will be like the new red dawn. we will be destroyed and any resistance wont be tolerated and then we'll all die.
This is the silliest bunch of trash I have ever read!Whoever wrote this should give up his computer access and be given 500 lashes with a wet noodle,then shot in the head or ass.Where ever his brains are.My name is Boxerman