The FDA estimates that seniors cross the borders with foreign prescriptions once every seven minutes.
Jehovah’s Witnesses will start toting bullhorns to ensure their message is heard!
Bat Boy made a rare public appearance when Fall Out Boy invited him on stage. Through high-pitched squeaks and squeals, Bat Boy then convinced the band to run off with him into the night and devour mosquitoes.
Ashlee Simpson did not attend.
A 54-year-old waitress says a space alien ate two washer loads of clothes right off her line!
A stunning clue in the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle has been found in a remote desert on the other side of the world.
“They must have been strong aliens because that Bigfoot must have weighed at least 500 pounds,” said Jeffrey Antis.
Without warning, the UFO Alien arrived in Minnesota today, turning the heads of Republicans and Democrats alike.
Some commentators could not help but notice that the UFO Alien and Cindy McCain possessed similar headshapes.
Many insiders felt that a meeting of the minds between Cindy McCain and the UFO Alien was imminent and could take place prior to her address to the convention.
People looking to escape the hassle of most bars and clubs in the city had better think twice before heading out to The Treehouse this weekend.
James Blake and US hopes have crashed at the US Open.
Blake lost a close match despite being powered by a strong serve, superior forehand and the protein nourishment that his nightly diet of thousands of mosquitoes provides.
The Alien’s rebuttal of McCain’s lobbying has left the Republican Party fuming.