SWEARING AT GOD IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH

BALTIMORE, MD – A recently completed study has shown that profanity leveled at deities can extend your lifespan.

The findings, culled from a twelve-year research project informally known as Goddamn Healthy Living, demonstrate a marked difference in health between those who hurl invective at the heavens and those who resist the urge.

“The process isn’t fully understood,” said team leader Dr. Grady Hellman of the University of Delaware in a press conference.  “But what seems apparent is that it’s enormously beneficial to your health to angrily berate God when you feel like you need to.”

Dr. Hellman went on, “I mean, I’m a little nervous right now, but… JESUS H. CHRIST!  And now I feel better.”

The study subjects were monitored according to general health indicators and level of vulgarity in their frustrated recriminations of God.  The data showed a clear corollary between cursing out the creator and better overall health.

In response to the new demand, the researchers have prepared a list of suggested phrases for funneling your rage skyward that is being adapted into a book.

The title for the book, which will be hitting the shelves this spring, is best explained by the author himself.  “If swears can work like health food,” reasons Dr. Hellman, “then I’m starting the Tourette Diet.”

“Dr. Atkins, eat your f***ing heart out,” he added.  “It’s high in protein.”  Dr. Hellman grinned expansively.  “See, now I feel even better.”