WASHINGTON, DC – Fathers all over the nation are uniting under the slogan “I drive better when I’ve had a few.”
Spokesmen for the newly formed association have announced that FAMADD will focus its energies on “actively and proactively fostering father-first policies and attitudes concerning how many beers we can have before we ride home.”
The group—which has not released its membership data, but is rumored to be numbered in the tens of thousands—advocates that mothers “mind their own damn business and let a man shake it off.”
FAMADD’s inception has ignited a storm of controversy in the anti-drug lobbying world, not least in the halls of MADD, which perceives itself as being directly targeted.
“This is just typical,” a company spokeswoman said in a statement. “Won’t listen to a shred of advice, even if it’s good advice. And we end up having to pay for it when we get lost on the way home and they won’t call a cab or ask for directions.”
“They can be so pigheaded sometimes,” she added.
Pigheaded or no, the leadership of FAMADD insists that they’re in the right on this issue. “What we’re trying to do here is come together and convey the message that, listen, we’re grown men. We work hard all day. We pay the bills. And it’s our goddamn car. So if we want to drive with a few beers in our bellies that’s our own damn business.”
The new advocacy group is presently running an ad campaign featuring the brand message “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, but sons, daughters and wives damn well better.”