The White House reportedly announced that President has taken full control of the internet – issuing an Executive Order to do so.

Sources say President Obama issued an executive order granting the federal government complete and unprecedented power over  the Internet.


Various news agencies are reporting that the  cybersecurity executive order has been  issued by the president over the weekend.

Unnamed White House officials disclosed that the order will “create a federal-government led group to implement mandatory standards for companies running critical infrastructure.  It also takes additional measures to control information sharing and control  cybersecurity through current regulatory authorities.”


The Obama administration reportedly was concerned that there would be objections to the Executive Order from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), so they have granted the ACLU an “exemption” – meaning that the ACLU will be able to makes changes to their web site and collect monies without interference from the government.

Some in Washington feel that the growing Benghazi scandal AND the growing IRS scandal are making the White House extremely nervous.  “We can’t have people out there saying negative things against our President,” said a White House insider.  “The President needs to be able to implement his agenda without Republicans and others trying to stop him.”

The White House insider went on to say that the President had no intention of controlling the internet, but the Republicans have forced him to do so.  “There’s a right-wing conspiracy to get President Obama and he needs to protect himself,” said a source in the White House.


What does the new Executive Order mean?

“The U.S. Government will monitor all web sites and have the right to pull down any content they find objectionable. The government will also collect taxes from any (and all) web sites, it feels should be paying taxes.  And finally, the government will monitor all emails, chats, tweets – all communication – on the internet, in order to prevent negative stories about the internet to surface.”

The White House plans on shutting down the following web sites this week:  The Drudge Report, Gateway Pundit, Fox News, The Daily Caller, InfoWars, The New York Post and, oddly enough, NFL.com – the President wants to put an end to the “vicious game of football.”

Enjoy your freedom and privacy on the interent:  time is running out.




  1. This is just plain silly! There is NO WAY to control the whole internet. If someone tried, the EFF would be all over them.

  2. "Enjoy your freedom and privacy on the interent: you have one week left."

    MAY 20: after a week, I'm still very-much enjoying the interent.

    Obama sucks, by the way.

  3. i thought this was a free country for all so y is our commander and chief trying to take our rights away i dont under stand this stupidity ….. take him out of office it will be the best thing for this country

  4. Seems like another case of America thinking it controls the world. Do half the people living there even know other countries exist? USA can not control the internet. Just look at piratebay, they have their severs in places where they are outside these authoritarian rules. Guess they should call Team America – World Police.


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